KateGate: Is William the bad guy? Here are the latest rumors

KateGate, Day 4: It all started last Sunday with a grotesquely botched family photo, allegedly photofail-shopped by Princess Kate herself, and supposedly taken by Prince William. Because anyone who is not in the photo must have taken the photo, according to the palace that released the photo. Unfortunately, everyone has a different opinion about that. We reported. On Monday. On Tuesday. And on Wednesday there will be another nice loot.

It’s the biggest royal PR disaster since the release of the phone sex tapes between Charles and Camilla (Charles wanted to be reincarnated as Camilla’s tampon), since Diana’s tell-all interview (“Well, there were three of us in this marriage. It “It was a bit tight”), since Harry and Meghan’s escape and since Prince Andrew’s involvement in the Jeffrey Epstein sex scandal.

A photo was released Monday afternoon showing William and Kate in a car leaving Windsor Castle. Two photographers say they took the photo without the couple’s knowledge. It’s a bad paparazzi photo, extremely foggy.

On Tuesday, what seemed like 81,364 Sherlocks among England’s resourceful photo analysts had had enough of the Sunday photo and focused all their energy on the Monday photo – and lo and behold: this one should be fake too! Namely a manipulated photo from the Christmas period from which Kate’s earrings had been removed. And the stones you see through the car window should not match those above the car roof. Mediocre. The image comparison seems overwhelming.

So at the risk of ending up in the twisting wormhole of conspiracy theories myself, I did the math: if the car photo, as the two ‘freelance photographers’ in the British press claim, was taken at 1.50pm local time. , but William attended a Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey with Camilla at 2.15pm and there are 27 miles between Windsor and the Abbey – how much are the two photographers lying?

Everything is strange in some way. And the world is still wondering: why isn’t the palace finally releasing the original photos? Why doesn’t Kate stand in front of a certified BBC camera for a few seconds and prove she still exists? Why is everyone quiet? Where’s Kat???

As the royal family stubbornly hides behind their mantra that Kate will reappear at Easter and will not comment on anything else, anyone who can put together a compelling story can now have their say. Or to “edit,” as the alleged Kate called her clumsy actions with the image tool in a tweet. Everything works now. The following videos show that Kate suffered repeated injuries and was rushed to hospital on December 28.

The villain in these videos is William, who never once visited his wife and his father in the hospital. Coupled with the fact that the children have not been seen in public since their mother’s disappearance, it is suggested that Kate fled with the children because she could no longer tolerate the marital violence. This is a step up from the cheating rumors.

Everyone is silent, only one person speaks: Kate’s uncle Gary Goldsmith. An IT millionaire with a villa in Ibiza that he calls ‘La Maison de Bang Bang’, which is somehow reminiscent of Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga. A few years ago he was convicted of beating his wife while drunk.

Uncle Gary is currently participating in the British TV show “Celebrity Big Brother”. At first he said he didn’t want to say anything, after all, there was an ‘etiquette’, but then he said: ‘I spoke to her mother, my sister. She gets the best care in the world. The whole family pulled the cart out of the mud.” Which dirt exactly? Did the Middletons pull the Kate cart out of the Windsor mud or something? Can Uncle Gary please loosen his tongue?

Camilla is the only member of the party who keeps morale high throughout the entire debacle. On Tuesday, she received a Camilla Barbie (the likeness is, well, similar) and honored the suffragettes who stoned the windows of Buckingham Palace in 1914. They had pasted militant battle messages on the stones. The then Queen Mary had kept the stones and today they are precious little witnesses to British history.

And you wish Kate would finally send a real or metaphorical rock with a fighting sign of life. The world is crazy enough as it is.