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18 stupid and funny questions from the internet – and your best answers to them

Your best answers and advice to the “most interesting” questions on the internet right now.
Author: Madeleine Sigrist

All your input has been great (really). But since there were up to 700 per form, we could only select a handful. Here are – again – some of Gutefrage.net’s most amusing contributions and your creative outpourings.

“As cool creatures, you can also communicate with gestures and facial expressions.” – bonus
“If they use Koegel, translate.” – Marabi
“Cows do not communicate by mooing, as was previously commonly believed, but by the targeted release of grass gases” – se Kau-Wisperer
“No, they do not understand each other. However, according to the agricultural regulation, one cow per barn has to attend the interpreter course for cows who speak other languages. The interpreter cow is responsible for the integration of foreign cows». – rag picker
“No, it sounds Spanish to both.” – Anonymously
“Both the German and Japanese cows speak Kuhrean and thus understand each other.” – Maloney
“No. Unlike German cows, the Japanese do not enjoy state-subsidized support for foreign languages.” – flick
– Gwaggli.
“Since the Japanese language is traditionally written from top to bottom, it is necessary to turn one of the cows 90° on its side. Either the German cow on the left OR the Japanese on the left. Under no circumstances lay down both cows!» – Marco, the moo cow whisperer
“When peeing, it’s the technique that counts, not the size” – DasKangaroo
“Just buy a giant umbrella. Because every child knows: like a man’s umbrella, so are John! “-Don Falo
«Run to the doctor right away! This is a symptom of post-traumatic penile urinary tract stress disorder!!” – babylon
“It’s not the size that matters, it’s how many you had. My ex always said” – Peppermint Chocolate Eater
‘Ask for this colleague’s number. Maybe you can check it again. The shock usually disappears at second sight.” – ribosome
«In adulthood, the penis is a double-edged “sword” for both sexes. The “hammer of mercy” can be a curse and a blessing at the same time. But it doesn’t matter if you have a dagger or a two-handed sword: it always depends on the technique!» – The Illuminator
“Does the finger smell different?” – Fudlivinger Fritz
“Tip for next time: the navel is in front!” – ViDic
“Since the navel is like a third eye, I would try eye drops” – 11,943 m
“The navel is a place that is difficult to keep clean. Next time, pour a mixture of mayonnaise, toothpaste with a dash of alcohol (gin, rum, it doesn’t matter) into the navel and rub the mixture into it firmly. Voila!” – DonCatachinga
“Best wrapped in dough and baked in the oven” – better eaters
“Talk to him about your feelings.” – Rahlini92
“Pet and food. Then eat at Christmas.” – Placeholder.
“You should hang out with him more often. Invite him to dinner, go to the cinema together. That connects and helps you to accept him for who he is.” – El_Sam
“Sit still for half an hour and breathe in sync with your ham. After that you should feel better» – ham understander
“By appreciating what you have in him. Think what would be missing if he wasn’t there. If you can’t comment on that, try changing it: smoking, drying. There are many opportunities. Be creative!” – don’t know now
“If you can smoke these ‘flowers’ too, I would consider moving.” -Martin Baumgartner
«You have been chosen for an investment/donation of 8,000,000 euros. Make a deposit of 1,000 euros in the following account XXXX if you want to make the donation.» – grandchild trick
“Don’t worry, this is all anonymous. PS: Your order will arrive on request at Dorfstrasse 123 in Bümpliz.” – Trusted_online_dealer
«I like dolphins. Dolphins are very beautiful animals. When I grow up, I want to be a dolphin. Or a banana.” – duck trainer
“Stay where you are. We’re coming” – DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration)
“Don’t go to bed, he won’t poop.” – Otte
“Your cat has KDHD (Poo Deficiency Hyperactivity Disorder). Only kite kateline and a cat whisperer can help. Or enough alcohol (for you) and you don’t give a fuck about the problem.” – KiteKatte
«Because sheets rhyme with jaws and cats like rhymes» – Mak
“Where do you think the name CAT comes from? The ancient Egyptians already knew that: _KA_ckt to the _Total wrong _ZE_it. Get used to it or buy a Dachshund.” – The shit… uh… cat expert
“Does your cat have a smelly belly button? Otherwise use reverse psychology: poop in his litter box and he will fall asleep in your bed right away. Also works with horses. But be careful, not with dogs. They are stupid.” – rodolpho his cat
‘Why do you always go to sleep when I have to poop? It’s really impossible! And in the morning, when I want to sleep, YOU always shit. Well, that’s … Greetings from your cat » – Hubertus Bert
“So PURELY theoretically, if you put ice cubes in it, let me know how long you lasted.” – dr fridge
“Of course you’re going to get pregnant! Hi!” Only 1 ice cube?! There must be at least three! Fill up very nicely down there, then contraception will work! Good luck!” -Hoctar
“Yeah, you can get pregnant like that, you just get a little polar bear” – Corahund
“Sure, but you have to move to the Arctic because your kid will be super cool.” – laborious
«Maybe spoil the fun a bit, as the “big” then “retires”. Depending on your partner’s preference for suffering, your approach may even prevent the entire “act” and thus a pregnancy. ” – Smart ass
“That should work, but I would have a strawberry milkshake right away, sperm hate the strawberry flavor, so there are flavored condoms. Double stitched and all.” –Duweis
“Good job! Did you put an ice cube in your mouth? Because stomach pregnancy and all.” – flick
«Not a virus, but a sheep. A virus makes ‘cough cough’.” – Hubertus Bert
“Probably sheeppox virus or something. It’s best to pour a little cough syrup over the PC.” – saukaibli
“No viruses. You have a sheep Always buy good weed on the dark web so the sheep are happy.” – Hans Muster
“Doesn’t matter. Pass the PC to translate between the German and Japanese cows!” – Snooze
“The only thing that helps is a MähcAffee!” – Me, my board and me
“I don’t know if you have a virus. But your PC is perfectly fine» – Techi.
“My vampire friends say it would work in an emergency, but it’s actually not that much fun.” – Theodore
“The Transylvanian University of Sighisoara recently published a study on this. According to this, scientists have found that the excessive consumption of menstrual blood in vampires is the cause of high cholesterol. – Knight of the Stinky Sock
“All the people who empty the sanitary bags in the ladies’ room are vampires. Otherwise, more people would be attacked.” – Ajfax
“It’s like having a Coke and getting a Pepsi… Just not the real thing” – Charles King
“Yes, of course! I sell my menstrual blood monthly to the vampire on my street. He pays well. Easy money for me.” – XXX
“It is better to slurp in the neck” – Nosferatu
“You can do anything! Just don’t get caught doing anything.” – Lubic
“No, if you ask the police politely, it shouldn’t be a problem. They will even film the recording. On your cell phone and hers.” – shaquille_oatmeal
“No, peeing on the cop gets you more clicks.” – 110we’re having fun
«4 and already incontinent! It always starts earlier.” – Blambi
“Not if it gets 10,000 likes – then you can even report it to the police” – PinkelAdvo
“It is not punishable if you mention your full name and address in the video. The police are contacting you for a sequel!” – The court
“I think she must have fallen in love with you too. I would invest a lot in getting to know her » – Micki
“Apply as a plumber in their area and bring straw.” – Stupid theorist
“You could become a porn actor yourself, you could make a video with her, she would also fall in love and you would father a lot of porn actors and make a movie about how you met.” – lily
«Buy yourself a BMW (see also question 16)» – Knight of the stinking sock
«Subscribe to channel and give a thumbs up» – rodman
“For example, do you watch your videos?” – placeholder
“He just does it so he doesn’t have to trade you in” – Better Eater
«Advise your best friend to become a coach» – Mak
“What kind of sport is this?” – June
“Try to pull yourself out of the hug next time. That’s the purpose of wrestling.” – Trainer
“I like that. What kind of trainer is he? Which brand? I prefer Erima or Adidas.” – Duck
“The username is a bit annoying in this question” – 1234
“Is that supposed to indicate access to a Disneyland-style roller coaster?” – Cleora
“The Lion King makes the slightest effort.” – slipper
‘I already have. The Beast” – Chewbacca1973
“Love that! I’ve always wanted to look Grandma Duck in the eye during cunnilingus.” – Walter Sahli
“You have to really want it and believe in it.” – Bimpelz
“Not easier than that: eat some sushi and 4 raw eggs that you pre-cooked for 2 days in the blazing sun and then stop the time it takes you to go to the toilet..” – Allgood
“Flash isn’t that fast. You’re slow!” – Alpöhy
“Ask the people of Zurich, they have such a miracle cure” – mrsniff
“Say, ‘You’re amazing and you deserve to live on the big foot. I can’t afford that. You deserve someone better than me.” That’s how you tell her it’s you, not her, and you’re not lying.”
«‹You are one size too big for me›» – adinator
‘Tell her she has nice feet. That usually scares them off.” – Darkpasi
«‹I don’t want to step on your toes.. oh, too late»» – Axolotl
“Speak with the big hands!” – Niko
“Peing on a police car, filming and uploading to TikTok.” – Overture 1312
“I don’t know. I like brunettes. That’s what I get with my bike.” – Anonymously
“Wait a minute: do blondes have a body temperature above 37 degrees? Clean me up.” – Alpöhy
“No fear. You already made it with this post. Bravo” – oops
“There is no bad ‘celebrity’, but please don’t kill holy food.” – Smart ass
“Put your phone down and go back to school” – Ben
“I think so too, just drive.” – Anonymously
“I’m just a fun brake.” – Bambi
“Too many blondes in the BMW, then it gets slow” – zerope
“Someone is cuddling with the Madeleine” – Perkeles vittu

OK that’s enough.

Thanks for the many inputs. You are all great! <3

There are more strange questions in the slideshow.

Author: Madeleine Sigrist


Source: Watson
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Ross

Ross

I am Ross William, a passionate and experienced news writer with more than four years of experience in the writing industry. I have been working as an author for 24 Instant News Reporters covering the Trending section. With a keen eye for detail, I am able to find stories that capture people's interest and help them stay informed.

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