I admit that my two children are not enough to make my statements representative. But I think they’re two pretty typical examples of their generation, each in their own way. lI am commenting on three figures from studies from a very personal point of view. And I am very happy if you share your experiences.
This number comes from the current Helsana emotion study. Strangely enough, I notice a change in my daughter, who just turned 18, when she comes of age. Since she has to answer for her absence from the cafeteria, she is much more conscientious about it. It used to be said, “Mommy, I’m on my period and I feel so bad, can’t I stay at home?” And when Mama, gentle as she is, has given you absolution, you don’t think about it anymore. Her being a bit conscientious here is certainly in my interest. But a few weeks ago, she wanted to drag herself to school with a 39-degree fever. I immediately sent her back to bed and asked which devil had ridden her. Your answer: “I’m afraid people won’t believe me that I’m sick. If I draw it myself, I can do whatever I want. And I don’t want people to think I’m skipping. Or I’m always sick.”
The former is great, the latter worrying. What does that say about our society if even teenagers feel like they have to drag themselves to school sick because they don’t feel like they’re capable enough?
A song from the ‘How are you?’ campaign from JRC Bern. Insanely hard to rate because it’s incredibly subjective. What I notice in my daughter: The school pressure is enormous. She is a good learner, but not one to walk through the material effortlessly. I can’t remember ever studying for school as much as she did. I keep going into her room late at night and asking her why she doesn’t study a little earlier. “When?” she asks. She is right.
She often has school until 5 p.m. and is barely home before 6 p.m., so studying falls after dinner. I can’t imagine how others squeeze ordinary hobbies into it. My daughter is lucky to have turned her biggest hobby, music, into a job in music high school, so to speak, so she put it on the schedule. She still has a band with whom she rehearses regularly – and there too the question is often whether she can or will pay for the band rehearsal at all in view of the upcoming exams.
This automatically leads to a bad conscience – either to the band members or because she sang instead of studying. And yes, I often found her crying in her room because she felt she hadn’t studied enough. Of course I sometimes ask if Kanti is the right place for her. But she sees no alternative for herself.
Apart from the fact that there is no less pressure when looking for an internship, for example. Many companies allocate their apprenticeship a year in advance, which de facto means that 14-year-olds must already have an apprenticeship. Children like my son, who at this age have no idea what they actually want, are one step behind.
And by the way, as a side note: I’ve never experienced such fierce competition between parents as I did back then. (“Oh, he doesn’t even know what he wants? Well, my Maximilian-Oliver-Tobias went for a taster session when he was 11.5 years old, and he was so good they created an internship for him.” Or something. )
My son sniffed and sniffed and sniffed and nothing fit right. The end of school was approaching, most of his friends already had an internship, he didn’t even know what he wanted. The pressure was enormous. Then there was the post-Corona period, many applications for a trial session were rejected. At the age of 15, your mother can explain to you in detail that it is not you, but the circumstances. It’s still super frustrating though. My son, who is now 16, has been doing introductory work for a year as a gap year and the search for an internship has already started (he has decided to become a hotel specialist).
The fact that so many rejections come in almost a year in advance because the apprenticeships have already been filled increases the pressure even more. I often see him almost desperate because he feels that no one would ever want to hire him. It’s October. And we are talking about apprenticeships in August. Crazy!
The number comes from the University Hospital Basel, in other clinics it is similar. It is difficult to say how much this has to do with the pandemic. The fact is that many things are now recognized as mental illnesses that were previously not recognized as such. Young people were often sad and listless, and there was hardly any sign of depression. There are some teenagers around my daughter who have been to a hospital. The reasons range from eating disorders to depression to addiction problems.
Even as a little girl, my daughter carried the weight of the whole world on her own shoulders. She suffers with each of her friends and is constantly afraid that someone is not well. This burden in combination with school pressure repeatedly led to failures. But now both you and I know – including from a visit to a child psychologist – that you have to keep reminding yourself that such phases are temporary. That there are times when you feel bad and you don’t have to be ashamed of it. And then there are times when things go well.
Psychologists say that the times when the number of depressive disorders increases are usually subject to major changes. It is not surprising that pandemics, war, but also rapid technical progress lead to mental instability in young people. However, the fact that the suicide rate is lower than it has been for more than 40 years also shows that young people can certainly appreciate their lows for what they are: temporary.
Yet I feel that the lightheartedness with which I marched through my childhood is not present in my children. That’s not all bad. I experience them as very reflective and cosmopolitan, which one day will open many doors for them. And if you experience at a young age that the world is not always just at your feet, that also has advantages. But if I could ever wish for one thing for my grandchildren, it would be a little less pressure to perform when they were young. It will come soon enough.
How do you see the youth of today? I look forward to hearing your experiences and opinions in the comment columns.
