Can you believe that important Germans have flown to the most dangerous jungle in the world for the 16th time? That they starve (all of them) and stink (at least Claudia Effenberg perceives their own smell as unpleasant and perfumes their feet with deodorant) and slowly become quite hangry? That they do disgust tests and eat what neither God nor the Michelin guide intended as food for us sunny human children? So that everything is the same as always? Yes Yes Yes!
And no. This year everything is suddenly so refreshingly crazy and overly communicative. Maybe it’s because of the constant rain, but maybe it’s also because of the two vegans, the actress Jana Pallaske and the somehow famous Tessa Bergmeier. Jana is now called Jana Urkraft. Tessa likes to say “Go vegan!” and longs for her two children because their heads smell so good.
Jana wants to help everyone in the camp to create “open spaces”. With reality TV sliding mass Gigi Birofio, for example, she tries to open up the space of an imaginary ball of energy. He just has to want to feel it between his hands. “There’s nothing there!” Gigi insists and is sure that the “magic girl” has watched too many programs with the esoteric guru Harry Potter.
With Tessa, Jana tries to open a space on the one hand and to fill it on the other. “You said yourself you’re bipolar,” she gently confronts Tessa around the campfire. And Tessa says she didn’t feel like Jesus or God, like that’s normal, but like a fairy of love. A project that physically overwhelmed her. The bad result: She gained weight.
But now Jana feeds and fills Tessa’s inner void with a peach. Because Tessa has become very thin. She goes on a kind of hunger strike because RTL doesn’t have enough food for everyone in general and for her in particular. Lucas Cordalis, the quiet husband of the noisy Daniela Katzenberger and the quiet son of the gregarious king of the jungle Costa Cordalis, is very worried: “Tessa, leave your anger behind AND EAT SOMETHING!” He begs her. But Tessa sings hatefully and quite unvegan bloodthirsty: “I wanna kill someone.”
When Tessa is calm, she says things like, “A baby cow catches snowflakes on its tongue.”
Gigolo Gigi hates Tessa’s voice: “Her voice is like, imagine, you’re dreaming of something nice and someone always pisses you off.” And he said such nice things to her during the joint exam: “Give me two (stars) and I’ll post something about vegan on my page!”
Even the stable Effenberg woman Claudia is not free from superstitions. She was reconciled through a medium with her late sister, who was a dentist in Majorca when she was alive. And what was the reason for the sisters’ quarrel? Claudia had her daughter’s teeth repaired in Munich and not in Malle.
Gigi – a man who was an industrial electrician and stripper in a past life – asks Djamila Rowe how she became famous. We know how. Or not. The Swiss ambassador Thomas Borer and Djamila are said to have been in Berlin 21 years ago… “There was an alleged affair with a politician,” says Djamila. Gigi draws his final conclusions from this: “She fucked a CDU guy, if I’m correct. Wow, smart!” He wants to know if Djamila can put him in touch with a relevant politician.
A popular program on Swiss television is called “Faces & Stories”. Djamila has both to offer. She honestly admits that her splash lip wasn’t exactly decent for takeoff. And that her face has already survived some beauty-cosmetic deformations.
Hunger wears her out. He reminds her of her childhood in the GDR: “I came to my grandparents when I was six months old and both my grandparents were alcoholics.” They drank the aid money for their granddaughter and she always had to go to school hungry. There she did the others’ homework and got their lunch in return. Fortunately, life has made her an incredibly funny person, and chances are the jungle will herd her into the arms of adult entertainment singer Markus Mörl.
Vegetarian Verena Kerth, who is in a relationship with jungle king Marc Terenzi and much earlier Tshaker Oliver Kahn stretched out his pregnant Simone, can hardly believe Gigi asks her, “Was the kahn in bed like football?” “He’s the Titan, what a stupid question that is!” she replies.
Supermodel Papis Loveday may be the first person in the jungle camp who can’t really cook with anything. A super dad. Claudia Effenberg compulsively cleans up. Jana and Tessa outdo each other in crazy feentum and will leave the camp as winners, at least in the media. Gigi will not be able to fulfill his promise to have sex in the camp, there are no romantic feelings in his direction, sorry, he must continue to dream of a CDU woman.
Meanwhile, the world’s largest – and most fragrant – giant arum fades away in Adelaide’s botanic gardens.
Source: Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
