“I don’t want to be friends with Lisa, but she doesn’t get it…”

Hey zame!

There’s a new woman, let’s call her Lisa, in my circle of friends who I just don’t get along with. It’s not like she did anything bad; we are just not a good fit and i feel uncomfortable around her. She keeps asking totally unnecessary things, her sense of humor is zero like mine, she’s super correct and for example would never pay for a round of drinks without sending all the Twint requests right after. We just don’t fit together.

Unfortunately the problem is we have the same circle of friends (she’s a friend’s girlfriend) so we see each other regularly and I can’t really avoid her.

Because our circle of friends is small and we mostly did everything as a foursome before this relationship (my boyfriend and I and our two best friends), there are now five of us – and Lisa wants to do things with me all the time. But I do not want to. And I don’t know how to politely talk myself out of it anymore. It’s very clear that I don’t want to be friends with her, but she just doesn’t get it and keeps asking, even if we want to go on vacation together (???)…

I actually want to be honest with her and tell her that I don’t want to be friends with her outside of the group, but I also don’t want to disrupt the dynamics in our group.

Have you ever experienced a similar situation? Is there a way to convey that in a friendly and respectful way? I would greatly appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance.

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