Spontaneous or planned? This sex is better, according to researchers

Everyday life is usually so overwhelming that many couples no longer have time for spontaneous sex. They therefore put appointments in their agenda to be able to become intimate with each other.

Two studies published in the “Journal of Sex Research” found whether planned sex is always a good thing or whether both should spontaneously jump into bed when they feel like it. The result surprised the scientists.

For their study, Katarina Kovacevic and Dr. Amy Muise, a psychotherapist at York University in Canada, and her team interviewed more than 300 women and men who were in a relationship. In the first part, general questions about sex were asked. After the data has been evaluated, the couples must now document their love and sex lives for three weeks.

It is not only necessary to find out whether the couples consciously and actively keep sex appointments free or whether the sexual intercourse takes place more spontaneously. Instead, the subjects should also provide information about whether they were satisfied and whether the action was as they expected.

The result: both spontaneous and planned sex were equally satisfying. As a result, it’s not always accurate to say that unplanned sex is better, Kovacevic said.

The misconception that sex should always happen spontaneously, the researchers say, could be caused by a false image conveyed by the media. After all, no agreements would be made for sexual intercourse in films, series and Co., or so it is assumed.

On the contrary, the researchers advocate actively making time for romantic togetherness. Because anticipating the sex date also contributes to the collaboration jitters increasing and the satisfaction afterwards all the better.

Kovacevic and Muise suggest scheduling sex as well. That doesn’t mean, however, “enter the romantic get-togethers on a calendar — like 7 p.m. on a Tuesday, after dinner’s put in the oven and before you fold your socks,” says Kovacevic. Instead, a period should be targeted.

And there is another important point that couples who want to plan their intercourse should take into account: holidays and anniversaries are taboo. If you both decide to sleep together on a birthday, Valentine’s Day, or any other event, it can create a lot of pressure. In the end, both of them would only be disappointed. According to the researchers, it is more important for couples to regularly block time without distractions in the appointment calendar. “It keeps the spark alive.”

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(t online)