How many donkeys can one person tolerate?
I do not know exactly. All I know is that today was one too many.
Two new ladies arrive and one of them stands on the lounge and twerks in greeting. Hello, here I am. Right into the faces of the other ladies and especially right into my face. And also Dani Hubers, who stands behind me in complete surprise at this sight and says indignantly: “Annaaa!??!” whispers, as if I derive some secret pleasure from it.
I do not do that.
It’s more like someone shoving a mountain of meat in your face without asking.
Here.
Take that.
It’s like being in an endless loop, except instead of the groundhog greeting you every day, you’re greeted by some shaky donkey every week and every damn ‘Bachelor’ season.
I can’t see it anymore.
What’s wrong with your butts? Have you noticed that everyone has one of these? Yes, even every animal has one Gluteal region – a buttock area – which they call the croup?
And how cute does it look in comparison when they shake their crotches?
Because their crotches don’t have two semi-circular, mirror-symmetrical buttocks, with an anal groove running down the middle to make matters worse.
Anyone born with something like that can’t just come up and say, “Hi, my name is Vanessa and here’s my anal groove.” There are two things you don’t know: plague, cholera? Vanessa or anal groove, Hans was Heiri. What is actually the harsher punishment here? Maybe that’s why Vanessa didn’t introduce herself at all and instead just showed off her anal groove.
Ultimately, it connects us humans in some way. Well, not so human-centipede-like, more so, because we all have one, but at best it’s not being stitched together by a German psychotherapist. And which we could possibly also call the anal groove.
Just to make it a bit scarier.
Nevertheless. Such a buttocks is and remains a fairly intimate connection. Or to put it in Samantha’s words:
Or to put it in the words of Fabrizio:
I really wish at least one lady would show something other than her ass. Why not the knee? A completely underestimated body part. Maybe it’s because it’s a joint. Its erotic appeal may have a limited effect on most people. Although …
“…the joint cavity is enclosed by a two-layer joint capsule and between the joint bodies there is a joint space filled with synovial fluid.”
Wikipedia
Relief.
A joint space filled with synovial fluid. This now comes as a big surprise.
Good. Wikipedia is honestly also the platform with the naughtiest language ever. The purest porn.
(uncensored version!)
The animals initially move in circles while licking each other’s tail tips. A lot of mucus is secreted, which forms a round spot on the surface. The animals become shorter and fatter. The forebody is swollen in the shape of a coil. The front bodies bend to the right and to the left.
At the end of this part of foreplay, the circle narrows and the animals each place their heads on their partner’s back. Although the genital opening is already gaping, nothing of the genitals themselves can be seen yet. The two partners then begin to wrap their arms around each other. They thrash their forebodies around violently, lick or gnaw on each other and spread their mantles. During these violent movements, the animals secrete a 1½ mm thick, red-yellow mucus thread from their mucus glands.
After further violent movements and further slime formation, the two partners detach themselves from the surface and hang upside down from the formed slime thread, which is increasingly twisted by the violent winding movements and quickly lengthens. The final length varies. Ulrich Gerhardt states 15 to 20 cm, Karl Künkel in a letter to Ulrich Gerhardt up to 43 centimeters.*
When the mucus thread reaches its maximum length, the movements stop and the animals stretch out, but intertwined and with their heads raised almost horizontally. Only then do the tubular penises, up to about 4 centimeters long and about 4 millimeters thick, appear in the genital openings and are colored bluish-white by the hemolymph. The ridges can already be seen as wavy edges. The penises now start looking for each other. To do this, the heads are lowered slightly. It usually takes several attempts before the penises find each other. They then revolve around each other. The bases of the penises remain separated.
After being wrapped around the penis, the combs initially lie short. The sperm packets appear in the genital openings and quickly slide to the tips of the penises. The combs are now spread out like a spiral to 2½ turns. Once the two sperm packets reach the tips of the penises, the ridges of the lower 1½ turns reattach to form a bluish ball with the tips of the penis. The image of a hanging lamp (also called a ‘lamp bell’ in literature) is created**). The sperm packets come out of this ball and are attached to the glandular areas of the other penis. This phase lasts for a while without any change.
Then the separation of the penises begins, which starts from the base. The combs attach and detach from the other penis until only the widened end pieces of the combs are connected. The penises are eventually pulled apart by drawing and overcoming tough mucus. The sperm packets are briefly visible, which are now quickly inserted into the penis. The penises are now quickly and completely retracted into the genital opening. The entanglement of the animals has now been released.
Often one animal falls to the ground while the other crawls up the slime thread and often eats it. If there is a solid surface not far away, a partner tries to find support there and crawls away. Overall, copulation usually only lasts about half an hour to an hour, from formation of the circle to separation. The actual copulation lasts only 11 to 20 minutes (average 15 minutes). Self-fertilization has also been observed, at least in captivity.”
*This letter from Karl Künkel is possibly the most obscene thing ever written by a human being.
**”Literature”
In summary, it can be said that you simply will not be surprised by this television format called “Bachelor”. Not from the direction, not from the camera and certainly not from the main characters.
It looks a bit like Persil. Then you know what you have. For those who love it, this simply means that they will never be disappointed.
(🎶 You can build on these bricks…🎶)
The Bachelor: “You have tattoos, don’t you think?”
There are the meaningful deeds and the quivering Füdlis, the sunburns and pool parties. There is the difficult past and the future with many children, the in-depth conversations and the nasty statements, the beautiful locations and the even more beautiful clothes. There is the adrenaline and adventure of a lifetime. There are kisses, butterflies, roses and tears.
The home of “Bachelor” is repetition. Wherever Sisyphus lives. The ancient Greek who once too often forsook the gods and was therefore cast into the underworld, even into the deepest part of it, in Tartarus, to suffer eternal torment.
In his case, as you probably know, these consist of rolling a boulder up a mountain, which, when it almost reaches the top, rolls back into the valley every time. And then the whole nonsense starts again, the Sisyphean task we all know: cleaning, telling the kid not to play with Tripp Trapp or write or read “Bachelor” reviews.
Now, about 2,600 years later, along comes a Frenchman who claims that “a fight against pikes can fill a man’s heart.” That we should ‘imagine Sisyphus as a happy person’.
Yeah, who cares.
So he’s whistling happily to himself while, knowing full well what the inevitable outcome of his activity will be, he’s perfectly happy to push his stupid rock there?
YEP.
Camus thinks that Sisyphus’s actions, precisely in their extreme and persistent senselessness, appear to be a form of self-realization.
Yes, of course it’s his fate. And his stone. No one else wants this crap.
Then again, things could have been worse. He could have been sentenced to twerking forever. For his stone! (The punishment now would be that the stone would of course remain absolutely untouched.)
Maybe that’s it. Maybe the ladies think twerking is the inevitable fate they’ll have to face to survive in this Bachelor universe. At least that’s the impression given by Rosa, who has a very bad feeling after her Füdli performance at the pool party and is even afraid of Rose’s death because she finds everything a bit “crazy” and “too much”:
Ultimately, we are all prisoners of this bitter urge to repeat. We feel compelled to do what others do. Watching what others do. To condemn it, laugh about it or celebrate it. Condemned to live, work, twerk – and ultimately die.
At least we don’t have to carry an anal canal with us anymore.
PS:
Julia is on OnlyFans, Ardita has to moderate her choice of words (“you can’t say ‘whore’!), Ann-Lia, Lina and the non-twerking Vanessa are out.
Source: Watson
I am Ross William, a passionate and experienced news writer with more than four years of experience in the writing industry. I have been working as an author for 24 Instant News Reporters covering the Trending section. With a keen eye for detail, I am able to find stories that capture people’s interest and help them stay informed.
