Kiki Bertens will never return to world-class tennis. A demonstration tournament in Luxembourg will not change that. “A comeback? Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that I made a good choice in quitting.”

Up until three months ago, Bertens, 30, hasn’t touched a racquet since she retired from tennis last August. She’s done with the sport. The mental strain weighed heavily, at times it was impossible.

But when she was approached in March by the organizers of the invitational tournament in Luxembourg, which featured several former top players such as Kim Clijsters and Martina Hingis, Bertens’ fire began to burn again.

And that the fire is burning again can also be seen in the run-up to Friday’s game against Hingis. Bertens, as she says herself, runs around almost the whole day “sick with vomit”, just like she could do in her best days.

As if she had to contest an important final. “Here in Luxembourg it’s not about big things anymore, but the tension was there because I want to do well and not fail,” she says.

“I didn’t miss anything like that at all and that’s why it’s good that I stopped playing tennis,” says Bertens with a smile after she lost in two sets to the very fit-looking Hingis (42).

She can now recover from a loss much more quickly. “Because then I look up at the stands of Mats (her son who was born in April, editor’s note) and then I think: This is important to me now.”

Bertens exudes everything she enjoys about the life she has thought about often throughout her professional career.

“The fanaticism never went away in me, you know. I noticed that when I started training for this tournament. I always want to win. I also think it went quite reasonably,” said the player, who was still number four in 2019.

“At least I lost a few pounds before the tournament, it was really good for that. I could smell tennis again because it’s still a very nice game.”

Bertens’ tennis fanatic is also reflected in her new role as assistant captain of the Billie Jean King Cup team that plays France in November. She wants to stay true to the sport.

Bertens was approached by her former coach and captain Elise Tamaëla. “At some point I was ready to do something again. I know all the girls in the team well, so I hope I can do my part,” explains Bertens. “Now I have to research what I like myself.”

“I was home for fourteen months and spent a lot of time with Mats. But you still miss a challenge to have something for yourself. I would like to do something again. Not full-time, but maybe once or twice a week.”

“Kiki! How are you?’

Bertens certainly likes to meet up with her former competitors in Luxembourg. “Kiki! How are you?”, Jelena Jankovic, number one in the world in 2008, approaches Bertens after a training session full of enthusiasm.

Jankovic is worried about her form and her level, she admits to Bertens. And these concerns are no coincidence, because later in the evening the Serbian broke her ankle in the match against Daniela Hantuchova on the rough indoor track and had to retire.

Bertens does not live to see this unfortunate scene again, since she is already on her way to the hotel in a tournament car, where little Mats is waiting for her again.