“I Thought I Could Be Normal”

David Gamez (27) speaks slowly and carefully. Even when he talks about what he has experienced, he remains calm. And that’s tough. Because: the music teacher grew up in an evangelical free church in the canton of Bern. By the time he was 13, he realized he was attracted to men. “When my mother found out, she had a nervous breakdown. A world came crashing down for them,” says Gamez.

In strictly religious circles, homosexuality is still considered a sin or a disease. This is one of the reasons why Gamez struggled with his sexual orientation for a long time as a teenager: “I was told that homosexuals are addicted to drugs and have sex all the time, that a monogamous partnership is impossible.” And that homosexuality is the “direct road to hell”. Gamez wanted to change his sexual orientation with “therapy”. With fatal consequences for his mental health.

The federal government is investigating a ban

It is not known how many of these so-called conversion therapies are performed in Switzerland. Often referred to as “independent counseling” or “individual psychological support,” they are conducted by life coaches or evangelical pastors. Undercover investigations by SRF showed that such “therapies” are commonplace.

In other countries and some Swiss cantons, these conversion therapies are banned, in others similar requests have been made. To avoid a cantonal patchwork, the National Council’s legal committee is now calling for a Swiss-wide ban. The National Council will discuss this on Monday.

Therapy with the cured pastor

To change his sexual orientation, Gamez sought therapy from a pastor who works as a therapeutic consultant at Wüstenstrom Switzerland. He claims to have left his “homosexual tendencies” behind. He denies offering conversion therapy, but writes that he is against a ban. It is important that “you can continue to guide young people with an open mind”. In a circular from 2011, which Blick has, he also calls on Freikirchen to actively encourage homosexuals to change. The man did not respond to a request from Blick.

“An hour with him cost about 150 francs,” says Gamez. For therapy, he commuted to the Zurich Oberland once a week. At first he was full of hope: “I thought I could become normal.” The pastor told him about his own success story that he was now married and had children. “He advised me to keep in touch with heterosexual men.” So he should go to a football club or do typical male things. “He made me understand that there is something wrong with my identity, that I have to become the right man to be straight.”

Abuse by church mentor

At the same time, something terrible happened in Gamez’s house. A mentor from his church community—the first person he came out to—offered to help him put his homosexuality behind him. Gamez becomes visibly uncomfortable when he thinks back: “He encouraged me to get naked so we could compare and touch our bodies. I don’t know how that would have helped me.” Today he knows it was abuse.

Gamez kept getting worse. He developed an eating disorder and required psychiatric help. After six months, he finally broke off “therapy” with the pastor. “At a certain point I realized how contradictory it all was and that the therapy was pointless.”

The relationship with his parents also deteriorated, eventually they evicted him. Among other things, he found support in the Zwischenraum association, which his ‘therapist’ had told him about. “He told me those who didn’t make it would end up there,” says Gamez.

A safe haven

Zwischenraum is an association for people from the free religious and evangelical milieu for whom faith and homosexuality are not mutually exclusive. “We want to provide a safe haven for the LGBTQ+ community for whom the Christian faith is important,” says co-chair Roland Weber.

There are some members who have undergone conversion therapy, some with fatal outcomes. “If you realize that after the therapy you are still homosexual as before, then the crisis really begins.” Often people became depressed and developed suicidal thoughts. “I know people who have tried to commit suicide more than once, and they may not even be 30 years old,” says Weber.

Today he is an atheist

At Zwischenraum, David Gamez realized that there are people who are gay and believe in God. “And I saw that these are normal people.” Many of the friendships he made then would endure to this day.

But he left faith behind. He slowly gets closer to his family, with whom he has not had contact for a long time. “I hope that one day they will fully accept me,” says Gamez.

Damage had been done by his therapy, there was nothing he could do to change that. It is all the more important that conversion therapies are banned and that therapists are held accountable. “I wish a ban would finally be an example,” he says. “It’s also a sign that you’re fine just the way you are and don’t need any treatment.”