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Sunday view: Miss Wetherall-Grujic, you are not a supporter of Mother’s Day. You refer to it as a “damn vacation” in one of your podcast episodes. Why this rejection?
Ana Wetherall-Grujic: On Mother’s Day, mothers are recognized for doing so much. Gifts are given, but what mothers do for the remaining 364 days of the year is overwhelming. Along with Mother’s Day, we say: “Always too much. Thanks for that.” This is sarcastic.
Want to miss the joy of Mother’s Day fans?
Not possible. Happy Mother’s Day to everyone. Just: I’d like to see more discussion about maternal support and fewer special offers on perfumes on Mother’s Day.
Why aren’t there such discussions?
In our society, we mistakenly treat children as a special treat. Hans likes to fish, Martin rides a racing bike, Ana has a child. As if it was a hobby. I decided to do this, so I have to take care of him, that’s how.
They don’t take the word “that’s it”.
We have to accept how difficult some of the things we pretend to be normal are. For example, the social narrative is: Breastfeeding is wonderful, it strengthens the bond between mother and child. I am absolutely in favor of giving every woman who wants to breastfeed the support she needs. But we should also know that breastfeeding is a difficult job. Establishing a stable breastfeeding relationship can be extremely difficult, both physically and mentally.
Many do not know this.
Another example: It’s really tedious to make porridge five times a day. With a child in her arms. Preferably organic, from local farms. The child and mother are often soiled. It’s been months that I’ve been constantly pulling limp out of my hair. We pretend to be the standard for all these things, and nothing different is that good. We do not accept that this standard comes under pressure and at the expense of the mother: at the expense of her free time, her health.
They wrote a book of anger and called it The Happy Mother’s Handbook. What makes you happy as a mother?
Motherhood is what you understand by it. Which is appropriate for you in relation to your own child. I am always happy when I can make free decisions.
Is it difficult to decide freely as a mother?
We all love our children and want the best for them. At the same time, there is almost no right or wrong in raising children. However, there are socially recognized ways to act and very strong opinions expressed by influencers, midwives or self-proclaimed education professionals.
Today, there are areas where there is no absolute dominant view in society. For example, when it comes to the question of where the baby should sleep or when it comes to additional food.
But the relevant experts are still 100 percent sure of their position. I read books on complementary foods. Some recommend porridge, others recommend solid foods that the child can hold in their hands. I was confused. During a routine checkup at the pediatrician, we received a sheet of paper that said “No sugar.” So I asked myself: What kind of privileged discussion am I actually preparing myself for here? It’s all about the basics. All in all it’s simpler than you might think. The other is free choice.
It’s a relief, isn’t it?
It can be irritating because I can question every decision I make, but so can security. You really can’t go wrong.
We talk a lot about the burdens that mothers carry. The partner is still there in a two-person relationship.
Still, mothers need support in the form of domestic help, temporary night nurse or psychological support. We treat childcare, especially in the beginning, as if it’s something you, the mother, do, and not a breastfeeding situation.
Some will say: mothers have always achieved this.
nonsense! I talk to many women from the generation of grandparents. They don’t see it so haphazardly. Mothers have always worked hard. Some died. Today we can go further. Why does motherhood have to be difficult? Why not such an obvious challenge, something you do together that is just a part of life, rather than an Iron Man run?
In your book, you focus on the needs of women with children. Is it better for the child if the mother is happy?
No, it’s the opposite: it’s not in the child’s best interest to put pressure on the mother and let her suffer. Children’s happiness does not come from the mother’s suffering. This may sound dramatic, but most of the time one really trusts the mother’s suffering. For example, vaginal delivery without painkillers is considered the best delivery, while elective cesarean section is considered a selfish choice. As if the mother’s pain would increase the child’s happiness.
Source : Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
