5 tips to prevent stress about money in your relationship

what is your money history You may see it quite soberly, but I keep finding in exchanges with people that for many of us money – apart from being a number in the bank account – is often also a kind of canvas for our values, hopes and fears, consciously or unconsciously represents . Seen in this light, it is not surprising that sometimes, especially in a partnership, there is a lot of explosive energy in it.

In the Bank Cler study 8 out of 10 respondents indicate that money plays a (very) important role in a relationship for them. 44% stated that money issues at least occasionally create a potential for conflict. Valentine’s Day is over this year (because that’s when it’s hardest for many couples – according to studies, the risk of breaking up in the two weeks after Valentine’s Day is five and a half times higher than average for the rest of the year). Nevertheless, there can always be nasty surprises and conflicts in the relationship and they can be mitigated with a few simple tips and the necessary organization – here are some things you should know.

Often, consciously or unconsciously, old clichés that overtake even modern thinkers, e.g that women and men have very different values ​​when it comes to money. According to psychologists, men seem to see money more as a measure of professional success and personal worth, while women see it more as security and a means of securing their independence. Conflicts arise, for example, due to different needs, the distribution of finances, but also when very different types of money come together and one of the partners likes to save, for example, enjoying life is important to the other.

it is exciting that apparently each partner credits himself with the best ability in handling money7 in 10 people attributed that they were more financially literate than their partner – both women and men. However, joint planning is appreciatedFor example, in UBS surveys, 9 in 10 women believe couples make fewer mistakes when they approach estate planning together.

This comment from a Money Talks reader shows that this works really well on an equal footing:

Your value relative to money is something very personal. Mutual understanding of what is important to the other helps to avoid unnecessary confusion. For example, talk about your money history on a money date. For example, talk about your wishes and expectations, imagine winning the lottery and draw a dream castle (or whatever it is) together.

This is certainly not easy in the beginning of a relationship and requires mutual trust. But many, even serious, money problems arise, for example, from hidden debts, undisclosed expenses or a lack of insight into what a couple actually has. Particularly if you take the relationship seriously, mutual honest transparency is not only necessary, but also a sign of respect for the other. Whatever you’re carrying, it’s better to put it on the table than face financial surprises later on. After all, you are a team in life, and finances are part of that.

Whether you throw everything in one pot or have different accounts, it’s important that you have common ground rules and that you both know what happens to your money.
These include, for example:

It is especially important for building money and wealth over the long term that you have a common understanding and goals. Talk about your long-term wishes and who contributes what. This also includes the pension regulations for partners who largely or fully assume the care.

Create transparency in case you fall ill, for example, but also in the (unwanted) case that you split up.
Some questions to ask yourself:

As you can see, a money discussion once a year is not enough with the finances in the partnership, but organizing and shaping the finances together is also a great opportunity to get to know each other better, to build trust and to strengthen the relationship .

How do you do that at home? Have you ever experienced a financial surprise in the partnership?