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Do you have a compatible upbringing?
“There is no such thing as a completely harmonious upbringing of your own children,” says Renato Meier (63), head of family, couples and educational counseling (Fabe) in Basel. Every parent wants to convey their values and ideals to the child. someone reached out maybe If someone values exercise and healthy eating more, someone else wants to give the child more freedom and let him laze around. Conflicts that arise are not uncommon and not a bad thing. You can do this to the child.equal “It’s useful for recognizing contradictions,” says Meier. Dealing with them is an important learning process. “If both parents do things the same way, it can do more harm than good to the child.”
When is unity required?
According to Meier, parents should agree on the following questions: How do we talk in the family? How should we behave at the dinner table? How do we deal with our fellow humans? What media will we consume and when? Answers are based on core values. Parents should teach their children these values together. Meier begs for mutual understanding. This encourages tolerance and helps find compromise. “Put yourself in your wife’s shoes. Ask the reasons behind the other person’s opinions and try to understand them.»
Could the parents be strictly different?
Meier says this can become an issue if parents have different levels of rigidity in their daily lives. One parent is always better than the other. A constellation of so-called “good cop” – “bad cop” emerges, as police officers use as a tactic in interrogations. You should always sanction the child together, Meier says. “Otherwise, the children will have a conflict of loyalty.” Additionally: If children prefer the less strict parent, the stricter parent often feels less valuable. “This can lead to arguments among adults.”
How does fighting affect children?
Meier says an emotional, noisy argument between parents can traumatize children in the long run and should be avoided. Especially when the conflict is about different ways of dealing with children’s behavior. “In the worst case, they feel responsible for the conflict and lose confidence in the protected family circle.” In addition, children learn “by model”. If a parent becomes discouraged, the child will eventually imitate him. If a more violent conflict does arise, however, it is important to find a joint solution afterwards. “This is how children learn: Fights are followed by reconciliation.”
When should parents seek help?
A good sign that it’s time to seek professional advice, according to Meier, is “We got it. but already It has been discussed ten times!» The longer you do nothing, the greater the disappointment. Sometimes a parent pulls back, sometimes the anger gets so big that kids feel it physically or mentally. According to the estimates of the Swiss Child Protection Foundation, about half of all children in Switzerland are subjected to physical and psychological violence during their upbringing. Meier says parents often don’t want to admit that parenting is challenging and will wait too long to get help. “No one needs to be ashamed of that.”
Source : Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
