I watched part two of “You” so you don’t have to

I wasted almost three hours of my life watching the second part of the fourth season of “You”. You may be wondering, rightfully so, how to cram 247 minutes into three hours. Well, thanks to the unbearable boredom I got from this binge-watching, I was at least able to try Netflix’s fastplay feature. It’s pretty handy, and more importantly, it’s the only way to watch this series without getting stinging wax in your eyes.

We remember that the first part, which came out a month ago, was already quite shaky. We found out that Joe Goldberg, our crazy little bookseller from the US, became Jonathan Moore. The now respected, bearded and boring professor accidentally manages to infiltrate a closed circle of wealthy Londoners. And to fuck Kate, the richest woman in the group.

Coincidentally, part of the group is found dead, including on Joe’s dining room table, with a knife in his chest, while a mysterious blackmailer texts our little goofball to blackmail us.

In the fourth-season sequel, it looks like the writers have once again grabbed the wizard’s hat of crazy twists and turns and added a new ingredient: madness. Let me put it this way: when Joe drives into the countryside to kill his friend and foe Rhys Montrose, who is running for Mayor of London and blackmails him with murders he didn’t commit, madness suddenly sets in. Rhys reappears. However, Joe just killed him, naked in a chair. But what’s going on here? Did Rhys accidentally have a twin brother killed naked? That is not the case. In the next episode, we learn with eyebrows raised that that Rhys in the suit who appeared out of nowhere is actually a hallucination. Yes of course.

Because despite some conversation scenes in the first part between Joe and the mayoral candidate, Rhys is the only character in this microcosm of the rich and famous that our rich little killer has never sympathized with. When Joe spoke to him in the first few episodes, he was actually talking to an empty chair. Rhys is the disembodied embodiment of his madness and Joe’s guilt. As if the imaginary devil living on his shoulder took over the features of the future mayor of London, until Joe actually kills him. An absurdity that even the screenwriters of “Plus Belle La Vie” would not have dared to do.

So the poor little serial killer has never been the victim of a blackmailer. He is actually sick, insane and suffers from a split personality. It was he who blackmailed himself with imaginary text messages and killed his boyfriends. Out of nowhere. And if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve noticed that Joe’s ex-girlfriends, who were actually dead, have resurfaced. Maybe, like me, you thought, “Oh god, did Beck and Love survive?” The same applies here: no. The two women are memories that haunt Joe for five minutes. Yes, it’s a scam.

Another returnee is the famous cage that was magically moved from New York (in the first season) to Los Angeles and its suburbs (second and third seasons) and now to London. On the credibility scale, we are between the parking lot and the second basement. Joe traps Marienne in it, who is later freed by Nadia, who stumbles upon it almost by accident. How convenient.

The disappointment continues into the final minutes of the final episode when Joe botches his suicide and on the hospital bed promises Kate that he will become a better person. That thanks to her – because she believes in him, hahahahahaha – he can become a better person. He only saves his ass by killing Edward, one of his students, by blaming another student, Nadia, who had just exposed him. Of course, after being wracked with remorse all season, he kills one last time in cold blood.

The final sequences take us to the couple’s future, where love is surpassed only by wealth. Joe the crazy little bookseller did a good job. Out of nowhere.

However, there are several points that tell me I didn’t completely lose on Sunday. The first is to discover the accelerated playback speed of the streaming platform. Effective.

The second plus is that “having to look for work” is a good excuse for not having to do laundry. (While this is less relevant if you’re an accountant or yoga teacher than if you’re a Watson journalist, the rest should be relevant to you. Any individual.)

The third and final point is that these sentences make at least one thing clear to all of us: where there is a will, there is a way. You can make round things square. You can drop everything through a misunderstanding and become a screenwriter for Netflix. So if you’re an accountant or a yoga teacher (and unsatisfied), don’t hesitate any longer: filming for season five hasn’t started yet. The screenwriters need help to come up with new ideas.

Keep me posted and good luck on your journey to a career in Hollywood.