When work becomes dating: ghosting, quitting quietly and co.

“The miller ghosts me”: It’s rarely said at work, but it’s often not entirely wrong. Because sometimes in the job world you have to deal with behavior that you otherwise only know from dating. Wherever people come together with expectations, certain social phenomena develop.

Whether it’s that bad “blind date feeling” after a job interview (“Does she like me?”, “Would they probably find someone better?”, “I shouldn’t have told ‘about my ex’… .!”) or a liberating divorce due to lack of appreciation – from an emotional point of view, an employment relationship can certainly have similarities to a love relationship.

This is evident from data from the online portal “Glassdoor”, on which companies can be assessed by employees. The behavior revealed there seems oddly familiar — namely, from dating life…

The term “ghosting” is now widespread. Whether the date suddenly stops responding or doesn’t show up for a meeting – leaving without explanation is one of the most annoying phenomena of modern dating. In extreme cases, the other party blocks all communication channels, from phone numbers to social media accounts. The result: frustration and loss of time.

You sometimes see something similar in the world of work: applicants are invited for an interview and actually leave the interview with a positive feeling, but never receive an answer from the potential employer. Questions are also not answered.

Apparently, this phenomenon is becoming more and more common. Since the pandemic, “ghosting” has been mentioned in three times as many reviews of the application process as before. Of course, the phenomenon also occurs the other way around, when former applicants are suddenly no longer available.

If you stop trying to get your partner, invest less time in dates and stop giving small gifts or compliments, internally parted ways with the relationship. This is also called “Quiet Quitting”.

Everyone probably knows one or one of their colleagues with a similar attitude at work: working only on the bare necessities, rejecting extra responsibility or overtime and avoiding joint activities after working hours. According to Glassdoor, this phenomenon has become more apparent since the pandemic, with many employees internally moving away from extra effort at work and instead “making a healthy work-life balance a priority,” the company said.

The winter months are a particular challenge for singles. While summer offers many opportunities to get to know someone, in winter we spend more time at home. From November to March it’s all about consistency – in time for this season, a firm partnership is sought with “Cuffing” to spend the dark season together.

A similar trend can also be seen in the labor market, according to the vacancy portal. While many people are looking for a job in the fall to get a permanent job in time for the cold and dark months, there is little activity to be seen in the winter months. Especially in the current situation with the rising cost of living, many Germans apparently wanted to secure a steady income for the winter months.

Having several irons in the fire so that you are not left without a partner in an emergency is called “dampening” in dating. There is often uncertainty behind this. Not surprisingly, this behavior is also widespread in the world of work.

Especially now, in difficult economic times, both employees and employers seem to rely on a plan B or C, career experts note. That is why not only companies have to be constantly looking for new talent many people with a job are already looking for a new job and applyingaccording to surveys from July 2022. This form of covert protection is rightly called “career dampening”.

You need to end a toxic relationship as soon as possible, but it’s often harder than expected for those involved. Emotional highs are followed by blame and low blows, uncertainty increases and self-esteem decreases.

This phenomenon also occurs in the workplace: it can be rigid hierarchies, bullying colleagues or an unhealthy, blaming work ethic. DThe employee no longer feels valued enough, exploited and abused. A lack of empathy, inclusion and diversity also often play a role. Ultimately, it will pay off: An analysis of millions of female employee reviews on “Glassdoor” revealed that a toxic work culture was the number one reason people quit their jobs. (cpf)