Mirror, mirror on the wall, is that the worst of them all?

Prince Harry describes his stepmother Camilla (75) as a “dangerous villain”. King Charles had a longstanding relationship with the current king consort. When his marriage to Princess Diana (1961-1997) broke down, the public blamed Camilla. Although their Diana relationship was also rumored, the press branded Camilla “Britain’s most hated person”. Nickname: Rottweiler.

Whether it’s Cinderella or Snow White, as children we are taught that stepmothers are mean and selfish. What is the evil stepmother narrative about?

Hard step role

“It can be difficult to accept a new woman from the father’s side,” says family therapist Claudia Starke, 65. She is a stepmother and in her practice in Wädenswil ZH she advises parents in the same situation.

“Of course I don’t know exactly what happened between Prince Harry and Camilla,” Starke says. But children’s loyalty to their biological parents often remains strong – even after death.

The stepmother finds herself in a difficult position between being a mother and being directly compared to the biological mother. “If the stepmother takes too many steps into family life, children’s rejection is inevitable.” That’s why Starke recommends seeing yourself as a close confidant of children, not a surrogate mother. This is how a loving relationship can develop.

Jealousy and the new father role

Jealousy also plays an important role: children envy the new woman. For the partner, it is difficult to be second. Starke: “That’s why it’s important for the father as the biological parent to make it very clear to the children that he will not lose them because of the new love.”

What about stepparents? “Men played the role of providers and women played the role of educators,” Starke says. This changes. As a result, more and more fathers today are at risk of becoming “bad stepfathers” if they take on the role of surrogate father.