Christmas should be abolished as far as I’m concerned. All the expectations, the pressure, the hassle. I only find it bearable because my mom cooks like she’s participating in “Swissdinner”. I like her over-enthusiasm, even though she says before every course that the menu didn’t work out so well this time. Absolutely never true, so feel free to ignore it. At least you could. Unfortunately, I would say that the ability to switch to power at the right time is uneven in our family. My sisters and my mother usually discuss on Christmas Eve, which is fairly sacred in our non-religious family, whether this exhaustive “fishing for compliments” on us children has been skipped, and how much we should now pay for it in treatment. I shut up and swallow three-quarters of the entire meal.
This time, however, everything was different. Instead of standing on the sidelines as usual, I was the center of the discussion. Apparently at some point I said my sister was complaining too much. I would not have taken her pregnancy problems seriously and pretended everything was very easy. All the non-pregnant sisters also felt attacked – don’t ask me why – and during the main course the hardships of having children were summoned to me in three voices.
I don’t recall saying anything to that effect. But memory is also unevenly distributed, so it’s possible. I defended myself anyway. On principle. Anyone who has sisters will understand me.
I gave up on dessert. 3 sisters, 1 opinion, 0 chance to win. In addition, I was calmed by the thought that soon everything would be different. If there are descendants you are away from the Thorn but also out of the line of fire.
The little one was born three days later. The women of the family were glad that the child was not a Christ child. Otherwise the poor little one would have had to celebrate Christmas and his birthday on the same day. I only partially understood their euphoria. If the “poor little one” resembles his uncle even a little bit, it won’t bother him at all. Then he hates the moments when he is the center of attention and is happy that there is something else to celebrate on his birthday. But the little one will probably only accept that when he’s not so little anymore. It is currently about the size of my upper arm.
I also like to hold the dwarf. And I’m at an age where I’ve held several babies because everyone around is happily producing offspring. I used to think it was okay, but now it’s not particularly interesting either. However, the little one, the first being of the new generation of my family, somehow makes me proud.
And because I can’t come up with any dating or sex stories… Sina’s gone, maybe I’ll see Laura tomorrow at Hanna’s New Year’s Eve party, at least she wrote it on Instagram, but I don’t know what that means either , probably nothing, my ex would I next week maybe but she doesn’t want to set a date because she’s only in Switzerland for such a short time and has to see so many people, exhausting, at least there’s nothing going on, which admittedly sucks, but I can’t change it now either and that’s why I write to you what I would write to the little one if he could already read.
(Maybe the whole cousin thing made me a little sentimental.)
You’re the first here, so you did everything right! It’s also okay to be the middle one if you only have sisters, but the first one is even better, well done!
Here are my tips for life: Never accept the “half and half deal” when it comes to food. Women always order the duller dish and then eat the larger half of their choice.
Gin and tonic tastes better, vodka tonic won’t give you a hangover.
Three joints a night might be a bit much. Even when school is boring. It doesn’t get any better when you’re hardcore stoned. That means… yes, somehow yes. But two joints are enough.
Relax if you’ve never had sex at 19. You can overtake everything. Sex until the age of 25 is pure struggle anyway. A race against time. In theory, you can leave everything until you’re 26. CERTAINLY NOT! But seriously, don’t worry.
But then find a woman, assuming you like women, a woman who likes you but doesn’t drive you crazy, and let me explain everything to you in peace. It will pay off, trust me. Important: It should not be extremely hot. Otherwise you will be distracted and not paying attention.
The basic rule for women is: slower is faster. And: Less (busy) is more.
When texting someone on Tinder, don’t text “Hey!” never works (I really hope for your sake that Tinder doesn’t exist anymore when you’re old enough to download Tinder.)
If you have any other questions, ask me. You do it anyway, I’m your only uncle. But your aunts are okay too. Except at Christmas, when they’re annoying.
Happy life, little one! Welcome to the family!
And to you: Happy New Year! We read each other in 2023!
Goodbye, Ben
