There is good sex and bad sex. There are views that are convincing. Others more strenuous. There are Kinks that I find exciting, others less so. There are things I find completely unnecessary: rose petals that stick to your back, candles that are way too close to the bed, masturbators… I got them as a gift once, what nonsense! There are women who have gross techniques and women who like sex very, very well. Which is best anyway.
And then there is sex*.
Sex* is the sex you unfortunately don’t get that often. It’s the sex you think it’s okay to die now because you’ve been through it all and anyway, now would be a good time because more serotonin your body will never produce again. Sex* is a mix of the right woman, the right technique, the right interaction, all right. Maybe, I admit it, sex* depends on how much you love that person and that is secondary to sex.
I’ve had a lot of great sex in my life, but rarely sex*. Which is pretty good. Because the insidious thing about sex* is that it completely destroys all sense of reason and logic. Of course it is always said that we men are ruled by the rooster. And of course it is true that in most cases we want sex. When I meet a woman, I think the idea that the date ends with sex is basically right. Whether I think the woman is very good or half good, in either case I would most likely say yes to a first try. The sex can also be good if I find them a bit annoying or boring. If she’s really starting to get on her nerves, maybe it’s just this one time.
What I am saying is that we are not so at the mercy of the desire for sex when it comes to just sex. We can still make more or less reasonable decisions. But when it comes to sex*, we’re screwed.
Why have I only had sex a few times*? Probably because there were only a few times I loved a woman enough for it to happen. My longest time with regular sex*? my ex
So the story of why I’m single is true, but the chapter about my ex, shall we say, has been cut massively.
I have tried several times over the years to reconstruct what it was. What made sex with her so blatant. Technically she was ahead, sucking really great, but she didn’t do really crazy things. When she left, Hanna was right about that, I was a little relieved too. I was in control of my life again. master of my decisions. CEO of my body. As good as it felt to have sex with her, it felt like shit that she, or that sex connected to her in some way, had that much power over me.
As I told you, she emigrated to Bali in 2014. She lived there for four years and then moved to LA where she still lives. We had no contact. never seen us again Just like. She was gone, I was here. Why did I remember where she is? Instagram.
And now, so you understand why I’m telling you all this: she texted me yesterday.
She’s coming to Switzerland for Christmas…
as long as
am
