I suspect three kinds of women. First, women who don’t like blowjobs. Just not necessarily. Or make them unhappy. I can already see the shitstorm in the comments. But folks, I’ve been told I can be honest. And that’s just my personal opinion. There are certainly men who don’t care about blowjobs. (There is none.)
The second type of woman: those with wall decals. It happens more often than you think. You walk into an apartment unsuspectingly and find a pseudo-deeper slogan written in curved letters on the wall. Don’t dream your life! you are a queen The route is the goal! Difficult.
And then there are the women who agree with everything, absolutely everything you say. Of course I like it when I’m right. But I also know that I’m not always right.
Now, a week ago, I met a woman and am now tempted to add a fourth group to my list: the newly divorced.
Sin was gone. And she’s actually gone. (We don’t need to argue, no.)
Laura was gone too. So. She was never there. But after she wrote me that she thought I was the most attractive man in town, which I didn’t expect from her and which almost annoyed me because she sent really zero, absolutely ZERO signs. On the contrary. She sent anti-signs. buddy vibes. No one in the world would have interpreted that correctly. In any case, I wrote to her on Insta that I also thought she was the most attractive woman in town. Which was a bit exaggerated. But again, no clue, no rank and she’s really hot. I thought her message and mine would lead us in a different direction, but… nothing happened. She liked the post! There was a heart and nothing more. But what else did I expect? That’s how they are, these Laura’s.
Anyway, I turned on Tinder and made a date. The woman looked good, she was two years older than me, she sounded pretty and uncomplicated and most of all she didn’t want to text back and forth, but asked in the third message if we wanted to meet.
She looked exactly like the pictures (important), ordered a double whiskey (unimportant but funny) and told me, without my asking, that she had been divorced for four weeks. Separated for a long time, but only separated for four weeks. “Cheers to that,” she said.
Within a very short time, I knew her entire relationship history. She met her husband when she was 21. She was on a skiing holiday, he was a ski instructor. They became a couple. First she moved with him to Graubünden, then they lived in Winterthur. They got married four years ago. They have no children. He doesn’t want one. She? “If the right person comes along, I won’t say no, but first I want to have fun. And then it’s probably too late.” You are not currently looking for anything serious. “Okay,” I said. She has reached a stage where she finally feels sexy. “Okay,” I said again. That was a bit of a funny statement, but what was the right thing to say? It is now about her and only about her, she emphasized several times.
Maybe I should have paid attention. Or the fact that she liked talking about herself in the third person. But folks, Sina’s gone, Laura’s never been there. What do you expect from me?!
At her house – no, not wall stickers, but moving boxes – she told me she hadn’t had sex in the past three years. They would have had a great time on their honeymoon. But after that nothing worked. “Did you know that seventy percent of all marriages are sexless?” she asked. A relationship is considered sexless if a couple has sex less than 12 times a year. I did not know that. From what?
They haven’t even kissed and have only cuddled twice in the past year. When the cat was hit. So she didn’t leave her husband, but her roommate. And that’s why she now has a lot to catch up on. “Make up for three years of lost time!”
It was the first time she had sex since the divorce. And for me, it was the first time I had sex with a woman who had just been divorced. The sex was like it is with a person who doesn’t really care who they have sex with. She drove me like I wasn’t really there. It can be cool when a woman is so busy that she forgets everything around her. But if she doesn’t really notice you’re there from the start, then it’s all pretty exciting.
She texted me the next day asking if we wanted to see each other again. We can also skip the drinks part and just meet. “For a little fun…” I replied that I would probably look for something else. She wrote: “OKAY”.
as long as
ben
