Spring fever has something to do with the pain of separation

When you look at the celebrity world, you might think there’s a whole wave of divorces going on right now. How do you see this in your daily work?
Martina Rissi: This wave is slowly starting to look like a small tsunami – and in my opinion it has been going on for several months. This usually levels off somewhat around Christmas and the summer holidays. In this respect, the January divorce wave has regained momentum and is probably literally reaching its peak.

What could that be?
Aside from seasonal cycles, relationships in general are in flux. Old structures have had their day, new ones must be found. But it is not yet entirely clear what these should look like. People need to refocus when it comes to their relationship needs and leadership. In this major transformation process, we take a closer look at what fits – and what no longer fits.

To what extent can the coming spring and the associated spring fever affect couples?
As the days grow longer, everything blossoms and awakens, the same happens with our minds. More sunlight releases more serotonin in our body, making us more active, confident and courageous to make important decisions. In addition, seasonal fluctuations in our sex hormones have been proven, which occasionally affect both sexes and increase the desire – of course also for new things.

How can couples protect themselves from the wave of divorces and strengthen their relationship, especially during this time?
Couples cannot protect themselves from a certain phase or trend. If foundation walls shake, sooner or later they will collapse. Ideally, you invest early and regularly in a stable love relationship and you do not shy away from discussing unpleasant things in good times. Relationships are not something stable, they are constantly changing and developing.

Then what difference does it make?
That you always meet each other honestly in the relationship, show yourself and understand that a happy relationship does not fall from heaven. It requires investments and self-motivation. For me, that is the most important thing: relationship therapy is worth it, and not only in times of crisis.

What should you do if you notice that you are attracted to other people?
No one is immune to this and in principle it is not a problem. The problem only arises when you act out of attraction.

How can you avoid this?
It is important that everyone thinks about how they want to deal with such situations. And this is also discussed in the relationship. Of course, we can also be attracted to other people for no good reason. However, it is not uncommon for feelings for someone else to carry a message for ourselves. To decipher this, it’s worth asking questions like the following: What does this person have that I might be missing in my partner? How happy am I currently in my relationship or in life in general? How fulfilled is my sexuality? Such feelings are a good reason for reflection, which in turn can bring many good things into the romantic relationship.

How do you react when you notice that your partner is “flirting”?
Ideally, the ‘do’s and don’ts’ have already been discussed in the partnership. So it should be clear to you whether a red line has been crossed here or not. Important: There is no general rule. Every couple has to decide for themselves.

How do you part ways in a respectful way?
Ideally, the breakup does not come out of nowhere. And if that is the case, the question arises how intensively the couple dealt with the relationship beforehand. If attempts to improve things are not fruitful or you feel that happiness in love is not returning, it is important to express this openly, honestly and as unequivocally as possible. In a calm and attentive conversation. Both partners must have an equal say in the implementation of the divorce. Divorce advice is also worthwhile here, especially if children are involved.

(anb)