‘Baywatch – the lifeguards of Malibu’ ran from 1989 to 2001, had 243 episodes in 11 seasons – and was the most successful TV series of the 20th century. At its peak, “Baywatch” attracted a billion people a week to their TV sets. The series was broadcast in 155 countries.
Why was Baywatch so successful? Because the stories were so exciting? The actresses so talented? Are the twists that dramatic?
No.
The success of the series was solely based on the fact that a collection of people with minimal deviations from the beauty ideal, provided with maximum breast circumference, covered their unrealistically perfectly (re)constructed bodies with as little material as possible for 45 minutes. Or as the editors said this morning: “Nowhere else will you see more breasts on television at 6 p.m. than on Baywatch.”
And now, 23 years after the last episode, it is known: the pin-up calendar turned series is returning with a new season.
But times have changed. It’s not that people don’t still want to see ‘perfect’ bodies. But such blatant sexism – as well as the show’s latent racism (in the beginning, all the main characters were white) – is no longer possible. And in another way, the wind is now blowing through your perfectly styled hair from a different angle. A lot has changed since 2001.
The creators of the series now have the delicate task of transporting the series’ unique selling point into a politically correct environment. Inventing fueled sexism, so to speak. A difficult task. But as the leaked transcript of an initial exploratory conversation between Larry (producer), Jack (director) and Bill (screenwriter) shows, Hollywood will rock the baby.
Larry: Men! Let’s talk casting! We need Latinos, Asians, Blacks, Indigenous people, White people, Gay people, Non-binary people, and Disabled people. Have I forgotten a minority with an undeserved amount of power on social media?
Jack: Larry, I don’t think people say “behind” anymore…
Larry: Eat Jac! Better help me with the minorities!
Jack: So we still need people with autism, people with a short stature, … and people who cannot tolerate gluten.
Larry: Gluten intolerance is great, and so is autism. In both cases, there is nothing to prevent those affected from looking hot in a swimsuit. What about all those religious people?
Account: We could put an artist in a burkini.
Larry: Are there thong burkinis?
Jack: The real idea of a burkini is not to look seductive.
Larry: Then, God willing, we reject this stupid idea.
Account: But we can also put someone in a burkini who isn’t sexy after all…
Larry: Hey? I don’t pay anyone who isn’t sexy!
Account: …maybe a slightly fuller person?
Jack: Fuller people can certainly do that…
Larry: Then we have the fat boys on board! See Jac! This is how creative thinking works! I’m telling you friends, this is Grammy material! Grammy material!
Jack: Emmys, Larry. Series win Em…
Larry: Whatever, Jac. Tell me how we solve the disability problem!
Jack: Because saving lives is a physical activity…
Larry: Wheelchair or no arms! What is better?
Account: No arm is extreme. People love immensely. And it is our mission to give people hope, to show what is possible if you just put your mind to it! The lifeguard without arms, the lifeguard who saves by biting his teeth.
Larry: And he has huge, beautiful, white teeth. Sexy teeth…damn Grammy material! What else do you need?
Jack: The beach vehicles must be electric, women must also be allowed to drive the lifeboats, the lifeguard towers, clear phallic symbols, must go, and when giving ventilation to an unconscious person, the person must of course first consent to the intimate touching…
Larry: The hell with it!
Account: We could just have incredibly attractive people venting totally ugly people. This way everyone realizes that it cannot be sexual assault.
Larry: You mean a 10 vents a 2? Puak!
Bill: Let’s zoom in on 10! To the tears as she suffers.
Jack: What about the swimwear? Nowadays we are no longer allowed to exploit the bodies of young women so shamelessly.
Account: We easily adjust the swimming trunks for the boys. Instead of boring shorts, there are small Speedos.
Larry: Then we exploit the bodies of young women and men! Justice prevails! And as soon as someone almost drowns because the non-binary rescuer can’t decide whether to wear trunks or a swimsuit today…
Bill and Jack: No, Larry… not exactly.
Source: Watson
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
