“How do I cancel fairly without offending anyone?”

Hello all

I’m a bit of a hermit at the moment and like being alone. I like to meet people every now and then, especially those I have known for a long time, and preferably in a small circle. Now the question. I have once again realized that I am apparently doing the wrong thing by politely declining an invitation.

How are you doing this? Especially now that there are some social events to attend again, I think it would be nice to not offend the people around me and still be honest. An example: a friend invited me to her bachelor party. Just thinking about it made my palms sweat, that’s what I told her. I tried to explain to her why she doesn’t make me, and therefore herself, happy with it. In the style of; If I don’t feel well, I radiate that too and it should be a happy event for you. Apparently that didn’t work, because I got a look that was initially slightly insulted, then uncomprehending and finally pity.

Or recently, I was talked into going to the company summer party and had a bad feeling in my stomach for weeks just thinking about it. As expected, I felt quite out of place there, also because there was a lot of alcohol involved and (not my) politics. That’s why I’ve decided to cancel Christmas dinner. Now some of the employees apparently feel personally insulted because I dared to say that I personally hate such events and that once a year is more than enough.

Is there actually a good way to say no without pretending that you ‘unfortunately’ already have plans?

Oh, just as an aside if it was at least mentioned here: I know the term social anxiety, I’m quite happy with my life and even have sex every now and then… 😊

Do you have any tips or can you share your own experience? The comment column is open to you!

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