Guys, THIS is the most pointless show since the beginning of TV

Simone Meier

This woman knows everything about relationships. And divorces. Adela Smajic, 30, from Basel. At first she was single, then she made contributions such as “Just separate the egg yolk from the egg white – that’s how it works!” on Telebazel. Troublesome, such an egg is ultimately not intended by nature to separate, but rather to be an object of enormous symbiosis and metamorphoses. Adela’s contribution ‘That helps against fruit flies’ was also definitely against the will of nature.

She then became a columnist for the “Basler Zeitung”. And explained to us that nothing, absolutely nothing, about a reality show like ‘Bachelorette’ is authentic: ‘The actors participate in such formats to increase their level of consciousness. They want airtime. If they behave accordingly, they will get it.” Wow, is everything really fake? Almost naturally? Is there no real life in reality???

And now Adela, who can pull funny faces like no other, moderates the “Talk,” that is, the post-coital, excuse me, post-final discussion round of the “Bachelor.” The consequence without consequences. The episode with the question: “Sinder zäme or nid?”

Adela is also in some kind of gold foil, wears a gold bracelet that fits way too tight and has special gold cream applied to her legs. She can do it alone a have a role model.

Adela does not present the show with the mouse, but rather the show with the elephant in the room. He has a name and it is not “Amen!” But it also has to do with God. Literal. The elephant’s name is “Godforsaken bitch”. Fabrizio named his rose candidates Rosa, Verena and Marcelline. At a time when he thought the cameras were in deep sleep. Since then, the world has been waiting for the debate. Just about the “chat”.

And? But the world has miscalculated terribly. The conversation is an example of spinning around. Actually the most pointless event since the beginning of television. Even Adela’s gold packaging doesn’t disguise this.

Then at least something will come: the love hunt in Thailand was for him a “pirate adventure”, and they also went to “Inslene”. Inslene. The plural of those whose tongues like to roll around in a very casual manner.

And just like that, there are already the first two guests: ex-bachelor Rafael Beutl, to whom Adele tells him that he has lost weight, which in turn unusually means that he once gained weight, which can be read as body shaming. .. So the bag and with him his ex-wife Mirjam Jäger, who once got into a shitstorm because during Corona she said that demonstrations should be banned and did not realize that she was dissing a Black Lives Matter demo.

The two can first have an innocent conversation with Fabrizio about whether they should allow their children to be seen on social media. Rafael and Miriam are for it, Fabrizio is against it. Then you’ve already talked about shitstorm.

Instead, it’s about legal fees and the mental strength you need as a high-profile victim of the shitstorm. And about children and what you as a celebrity need to hear about them. Adela doesn’t want to compare her dog to other people’s children, but she has also had to listen to comments about a lack of care.

Fabrizio says a shitstorm is like relationship advice from people who are single. And Rafael can also reveal that he is working on his own dating show – “öppis Chlises, öppis Härzigs” – and that it may one day be shown “on this channel”.

Extremely deep deep talk follows. Rina and Rosa arrive. Rina has won the bachelor’s heart, Rosa has not, which is totally okay for her, because she wasn’t really in love with Fabrizio, as she says, but that would also be a bit difficult for someone who adores herself as much as Rosa. .

Adela wants to know from the ladies what it would be like for her if her husband followed many women on Instagram who were more or less bleeding. Fabrizio thinks it’s “a very exciting topic,” and Rosa says that if he were following a Kardashian or Jenner, she wouldn’t mind, just as he wouldn’t mind them anyway. Adela herself finds it ‘just so difficult’, she does not want ‘my husband to be cheap’ in his sympathy behavior; his likes must have a value of ‘just the right kind of thing’. Oooookay, it can’t get more philosophical here.

At the end we find out that Rina and Fabrizio now want to “cut” each other, and that Rina actually wanted to dye her hair lighter, but then chose black. Holla, the forest fairy, there is the bear who dances, there is the deer who farts with joy at such valuable information in fast times, there are jellyfish who dance a quadrille, there is Adela who finds three hazelnuts for Cinderella in her golden peanuts . Miracles happen. And if not in reality, then certainly in a Christmas movie.