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Ms. Mittermaier, cheating on your partner is considered the ultimate breach of trust. Is there really nothing left to save?
Melanie Mittermaier: In my opinion, there are two types of trust. So-called trust makes people believe that their partner is always perfect and would never hurt them. This is broken if you are cheated on. True trust, as I call it, works more pragmatically. It’s based on trusting that you can get through a crisis as a couple. To do this, you have to accept that people make mistakes in relationships.
What if there is no fraud after all?
If someone cheats a second time, it cannot be ruled out. In my practice, I especially advise couples in a relationship not to have the illusion that from now on they will have a perfect relationship and will remain faithful to each other forever. It’s even more important to realize that you will continue to experience ups and downs.
From the perspective of someone who has been cheated on, this may be too much to ask.
We cannot forbid someone from cheating on us. Influencing your partner’s behavior by putting pressure on them is also not a promising basis for a relationship. But the cheater should expect that his infidelity will not always be forgiven.
They say humans are not designed to live monogamously long term. Can you explain this?
From an evolutionary perspective, it is more promising for humans to mate with more than one human. Our brain also gets used to the sexual partner, so it’s exciting to engage with new stimuli. From my perspective, finding the perfect husband who is simultaneously a best friend, a loving partner, and a passionate lover is utopian.
Don’t you sometimes have to end a relationship to save your pride?
In my opinion, ending a relationship out of pride or because you think cheating is socially unacceptable is a weakness. But for me, asking yourself if you want to have a relationship with your partner and continue sharing your life with them shows your self-respect.
What other questions should you ask yourself?
For example, what keeps us together? Or: What was going well in our relationship before the cheating, and what wasn’t so good? Can I understand why my partner is cheating? What could be going on in his head? Sometimes it can be helpful to seek out couples therapy to find answers with the help of an outsider. A fling can also enrich a relationship.
How come?
Some couples talk about their sexual lives so openly and even in detail for the first time because of a relationship. Or, for the first time, they engage with and reshape what is truly important to them in a relationship. In my consultations, I often experience that couples’ relationships improve after intercourse.
Source : Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
