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“Masturbation in relationships is at least as important as couple sex.” So says Julia Henchen (34), a couple and sex therapist from Germany. She is the author of the book “Lust Factor” and advocates putting solo sex, which she prefers to call masturbation, in a better light. Because for him it is clear: “Solo sex is often seen as cheating in a relationship. It has nothing to do with fraud. On the contrary, solo sex can be cathartic for any relationship.
Here’s what Henchen means by this: “Especially in long-term relationships, it is unlikely that both people will always want to have sex at the same time.” In such cases, solo sex is a good way to avoid tensions in the relationship and bridge the gap until you both want to have double sex again. “Putting your partner under pressure is counterproductive. This will only cause frustration and stress.
We are responsible for our own needs
Henchen says couple sex is crucial to mutual intimacy. However, most people think that the other person is responsible for meeting the other person’s needs. “But this is not true. We are personally responsible for this.”
According to Henchen, masturbation has a positive effect in addition to relieving the burden on the partner: “We feel ourselves and are more aware of which touch triggers which emotion. “This often makes it clear what our needs really are.”
Masturbation also allows us to live out our fantasies without needing a peer. Consciously perceiving the body and exploring fantasies can also make couple sex better. “If we know better ourselves what we want, we can communicate it more clearly to our partner.”
Problems caused by lack of communication
Masturbation is only problematic when it interferes with daily life. “If you can’t do without it anymore, if you can’t leave the house without satisfying yourself first, you should seek advice,” says Henchen. “Seeing lonely sex as a sign of deeper problems in a relationship is an exaggeration in most cases.”
“When we have sex alone in relationships, we don’t talk about it enough,” Henchen says. According to her, this leads to shame because you don’t want to admit that couple sex isn’t enough for you. Or when we know our partner is having sex alone, we fear that we are not good enough or that we have been betrayed. “Especially if he masturbates using porn.”
In most cases, these feelings are not rational, Henchen says. Therefore, it is not a good idea to hide masturbation from your partner. “It is important to share your own needs and preferences with the other person and talk openly about sexuality.”
Source : Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
