If the “hand slips”: How bad is a slap in the face to a child?

Müller says it’s normal to feel guilty afterwards. But if you stay in them for too long it doesn’t do the child or the parents any good. “It is important that you learn from the incident for the future so that this type of loss of control ideally remains a one-off incident.” There are concrete tips on how to improve your relationship with your child after a slap. In the first place, it needs to be learned that this is not the case. Possible!

According to Child Protection Switzerland, low self-esteem, difficulty concentrating and depression are just some of the consequences of physical violence by parents towards children. The consequences are more serious for young children than for adults. Among other things, because parents are often their sole caregivers and the breach of trust is particularly serious.

Yvonne Müller advises parents whose hands “slide” in an emotional situation: If they allow it, immediately hug the child, say that you are sorry, that you have lost control, and in no case do not hit him as you wish. “It is important that you do not try to justify yourself to the child.”

After the incident, when the initial shock subsides, Müller suggests making gestures of reconciliation and naming the child that way. This could be, for example, doing something nice together or cooking the child’s favorite meal. “Parents who admit their mistakes do not lose their reputation; just the opposite. “They are good role models.”

The challenge or autonomy phase that begins in the third year of life for most children puts parents’ patience to the test. If there is a chronic lack of sleep, there may come a time when the best parenting intentions are forgotten and there is a risk of escalation. In such cases, he gives the following advice:

Reducing tension: Trying to physically remove yourself from the situation before you explode. For example, tell the angry child in the nursery that you went into the living room for a moment but left the door open.

Put an end to power struggles: Parents often hear that they need to be consistent. In situations that lead to corruption, Müller recommends stepping out of the dynamic and de-escalating the situation.

Create sentences: It is almost impossible to think of appropriate word choice at a critical moment. For example, a child using hurtful words towards his mother or father. Müller says it can be helpful to do something about such situations: “I don’t want us to treat each other this way. “I’m going to leave for a while and come back.”

Know your own vulnerabilities: If you know that you’re more sensitive to some things than others, you’ll be less likely to be surprised when you encounter them and more likely to stay cool.

More about parents and children

Blown up because of diapers

Are Swiss children sorted out too late?

second honeymoon

Quote from kids: It’s like “Oh my God!” oh oh!”

“Good Cop” and “Bad Cop”

Can parents have different levels of strictness?

Don’t take the behavior personally: Children do not intentionally want to harm their parents. According to Müller, even behind seemingly negative behaviors there is often an unmet need that perhaps no one can meet at that moment.

Get help: It might be asking your neighbor if she can babysit for an hour, or picking up the phone or keyboard to call a counseling center. Müller recommends that parents should never be ashamed to ask someone for support.