“The New One” is a sex bomb and I hate her!

It starts unspectacularly. One evening Sandro says that “the new” has begun. “The New One” replaces Kati, who has retired. Kati has worked in Sandro’s company for 22 years.

I said yes. Boooooring.

But at a certain point I notice that Sandro talks a little too much about ‘the new’. Be funny. Bring some life into the place. And the blood of the male workforce flows.

She doesn’t look bad, ‘the new one’, says Sandro. He likes to have lunch or smoke with her. Or during a coffee break. “The New” also sends the best memes.

I hate memes.

And I hate “the new one”.

I want to know if she has a name. “Sandra,” says Sandro and grins. I don’t say, “It fits just fine.” I’m not actively aggressive.

Whether she’s on Instagram. Logo, Sandro says and shows me her profile. I see a lot of photos in bikinis. Ibiza, Greece, Bali. Surfboards, smoothies and sexy poses everywhere.

What makes me hate it is that Sandra looks great. And their captions are funny. Her bikini photos aren’t super intentionally sexy. She wears the mini bikinis super naturally. Her face is without makeup. Her long curly mane is a dream.

Does she have a boyfriend, I want to know. No idea, says Sandro. Does she know he has a girlfriend? “It was no problem!”

Ah!

I know Sandro thinks Sandra is hot. “Logo, right?” he asks me with a grin. He can get rid of the trio, I say. “Ems, are you jealous?”

What a mess!

Sandro’s grin makes me even uglier. That’s not necessary, he says logically. I want to know if he has contact with her outside office hours. He does not have.

She’s still quite young anyway, you can see that, says Sandro. Sandra is in her early thirties, single and sexual. The sexual is his interpretation. Also single.

It won’t get better.

I used to be the threat. Young, single, sexual. I can easily remember five married men who momentarily forgot about their families when they met me at work. For some of them it was no different for me: I also forgot their families for a short time.

Now switch sides. Felt that way.

Karma strikes back. Maybe fair. Still shit.

Stay calm, I tell myself. Can’t do anything anyway. You have to trust Sandro. That’s basically what I do. I wonder if he can make out with her after a Christmas party. Our free, open relationship would theoretically make it possible. Practical? NEVER MIND!

Before I can really finish the thought and the threat, Sandra disqualifies herself.

“She signed up for a bachelor party at the age of 3+,” Sandro told me last Monday evening. A killer criterion for Sandro. Not even because he thinks the show is so crazy. He once had sex with a former candidate. Then “only light, never again!”.

And because, like everywhere in life, ‘no rule applies without exception’, he would only fuck Adela Smajic. And with all due respect, I really can’t blame him for that.

Hello Adela.

Bye combing!