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“If the parents’ apartment or house suddenly becomes empty and both are no longer alive, this is often a shock for children,” says Christina Erdmann (58). She has been dealing with questions on this subject for years. You stand where your mother and father may have spent decades and you are overwhelmed with emotions. You also need to organize a funeral and take care of a lot of administrative work. “In a situation like this, you often don’t know where to start cleaning and sorting,” says Erdmann. In her book “Goodbye Parental Home” she gives instructions on how those affected can proceed in such a situation.
How can I best get started?
Erdmann says it’s best to start by making a list of everything that needs cleaning. “The important thing is to think about what is important to you.” Does this vase have sentimental value to me? Would my cousin be happy with the typewriter? Would old winter jackets suit a charity? It is important not to bother first with the objects with which many memories are associated. “It’s easier to let go of things that don’t mean anything to anyone.” Then you’ve already accomplished something and you’re more motivated to tackle things like the photo album, silverware, or your parents’ stamp collection.
What should I do if I can’t leave?
“It takes time to decide what to do with some things,” Erdmann says. But impulsively giving things away often leaves you mourning their loss. You still can’t hide everything. Erdmann recommends taking photos of objects and rooms before going out and in good light. “If you give the items away after long consideration, the memories will live on in the photographs.”
How do I avoid arguments with my siblings?
“The more we know about parents’ wishes, the easier it will be for children to save after inheritance,” says Erdmann. Experience shows that a will, or at least extensive consultation with parents, can prevent many conflicts. “Disagreements between siblings can complicate any resolution process.” Feelings of jealousy or injustice that have been felt for years may resurface. In the style: “You were always my father’s favorite, now I want to have at least his watch!” Erdmann says such attitudes often arise unconsciously. He advises siblings who have difficult relationships with each other to sit down with their parents and talk about their financial inheritance while they are still alive.
What mistakes should I avoid?
“People often don’t take enough time to consciously say goodbye and regret it later,” says Erdmann. Exactly what such a farewell will look like is highly individual. Some people find it helpful to drink one last cup of tea or coffee from the same cup they always used at their parents’ house, at the old kitchen table, and remember the moments at the table with their parents.
Source : Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
