How To Get More Sex As A Man (Hanna Here!)

Ever since he wrote his text about men and women, Ben thought he was a big one. Has done something for humanity and reproduction. Nothing against his flight, I’m glad if he hits a nerve there. In reality, no one is as happy with their performance as I am. I even celebrate the little ones, even the incognito successes. Even he’s not that happy. I’m not even sure he’s happy. I’ve known him for so many years and yet I often don’t know what’s going on inside him. Ben is a man whose emotional state you have to guess. Surprise or disappointment, joy or frustration, his expression always remains the same. Fortunately, he has a sympathetic resting face.

I don’t even want to say that he wrote something wrong. It is quite possible that us women think we are more obvious than we actually are. That our signs aren’t so clear. I immediately believe all this. But what I’m having trouble with now: How the text looks and what your general opinion is – 402 comments?! You crazy people! – the problem is that men do not understand women. If women were clearer, their signals easier to read, everything would be easier, everyone would have more sex.

But the problem lies elsewhere. Men often don’t land because they do just about everything wrong that can be done wrong. Maybe they’re secretly good guys, but we women never find out. Because it never gets that far. Because we leave early. The fact that a match does not become a date, a date does not become an affair, and a kiss does not become sex, I would say, is due in most cases to the misbehavior of the men.

If, my dear man, you want sex next time. Or a girlfriend. A friends on benefits situation. name it Then read the next few lines carefully.

Let’s start with the basics. Your Tinder Bumble Hinge Whateva Profile. I don’t know any woman who finds dead fish hot. your fishing skills? We don’t give a fuck. Showing dogs and then writing “Not my dog” is not a good move either. Enter your Instagram profile name and write that you are not on the app often. Ah, come! We’re all busy. We all have “no time” to hang out on Tinder.

Assuming your profile is on fleek and you have a match. You can’t write back for two days. Here too yes, we are all busy. But we lose interest when things go too slow for ski. If a woman is confident enough, she doesn’t want a man who plays games. We’re not 18 anymore. By the way, the rule of thumb for messaging is: don’t use more emojis than words. Everything else seems childish.

Okay, next step, there’s a meeting.

You don’t have to go to the hairdresser. On the contrary. Most men look worse than usual with a fresh haircut, so take it easy. But please trim your beard above your lips and around your neck. Minimal effort, also here. Do not be late. Actually, I shouldn’t mention that. But I have to. Because too many men think, “15 minutes isn’t that bad.” But! On a first date yes.

You sit for your drink. The woman too. you like her. It’s running fine. You want to accelerate. Do not! Calm down, my friend. I don’t know since when men feel like they have to talk so much. Shut up every once in a while. Less is more. You are not at a job interview. you have a date Also ask a question. We women are not your free therapists. We’re not here just to listen. Even if your stories are good. (They’re rarely as good as you think they are.)

If you’ve done everything right so far and are in bed with the woman, shift back three gears. Faster is not better. What you see in porn does not apply IRL. I know you know that, but why are all my girlfriends complaining about bad sex? No woman over 27 wants to see a Duracell rabbit a second time. And just because you figured out where the clitoris is doesn’t mean you can ignore all the other parts of the body. We are not a three-point program: mouth, nipples, clitoris. We are women. Be a little more imaginative.

Okay that’s it. I’m ready. Thank me later, guys! And thanks for the platform, Ben. Women will thank you!

All the best,

Hanna (Ben’s best friend, for those who didn’t know yet)