Women are said to have invented gossip, men prefer to talk about themselves

Two colleagues are whispering in the coffee corner of the office. They suddenly fall silent when a colleague unexpectedly joins them. The gossipers exchange a quick glance, embarrassed that they’ve just been caught.

Such a situation will probably be familiar to many people. No wonder: according to renowned British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, a third of all conversation content consists of gossip. According to him, it was women who invented gossip. After all, it has always been they who have woven the social fabric of a group and kept it intact. They exchanged interpersonal information around the campfire. Even today, the anthropologist suspects, women in particular still talk about others. Men, on the other hand, talk about themselves, and admittedly, that sounds a lot like prejudice.

In any case, evolutionary psychologists believe that gossip is a remnant of our prehistoric brain. For our ancestors, who lived in small groups, it was crucial to figure out who was a reliable partner – and who wasn’t.

This is what Johannes Ullrich, professor of social psychology at the University of Zurich, says. Those who are abusive and selfish would be put in their place. The mere possibility of someone being gossiped about deters many people from behaving badly and contrary to social norms.

Gossip also serves to connect people. By telling each other stories that you have to keep to yourself, the emotional bond is strengthened. For example, a small study by the Italian University of Pavia with 22 female students shows that an increase in the hormone oxytocin is released after a gossip conversation. This plays an important role in pair bonding, among other things. In addition, people with high oxytocin levels are more empathetic. Research has also shown that innocent gossiping with colleagues strengthens cohesion and can improve morale.

Regardless of its positive effects, slander can also be misused to portray oneself in a good light at the expense of others. “Then innocent chatter turns into bullying,” says Johannes Ullrich.

Dutch Annika Nieper is a researcher at the Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam and is involved in a six-year EU research project that looks at the consequences of gossip in a work context. In this context, she recently published a study showing under which circumstances gossip is harmful and under which it helps.

One finding is that gossip can only fulfill its positive function, for example in a project at work, if the information being spread is true. Otherwise, a colleague may be excluded and punished even though he has done nothing wrong. There is nothing to gain for the team. Moreover, conflict and irritation are inevitable if the lie is exposed – and you discredit yourself.

It also plays a role in the relationship between the conversation partners and the person being gossiped about. For example, if you talk to someone who has nothing to do with the gossip victim, the gossip simply falls away. In the worst case, all that remains is the feeling that the other person is trying to harm others.

This feeling can also arise if you pronounce the gossip in the wrong way. It should be clear that the overarching goal of gossip is greater honesty in the workplace. This could be the case, for example, if one employee, unlike the others, is only allowed to arrive at the office after 10 a.m. – and you want to enforce the extra sausage for everyone or for no one.

Allowing emotions to flow into the gossip can also help. So explain why the other person’s behavior bothers you and what feelings it causes. This leads to the listener feeling emotionally connected to the gossip and therefore possibly reacting positively.

For Johannes Ullrich, two factors are crucial to ensure that gossip does not end in conflict: “First, you should always consider whether the information about the absent person actually concerns the group.” An obvious example is that personal matters are never really a matter for colleagues. And second, before gossiping, always ask yourself: How would I tell the story if the person was listening?

And even though the suggestion may sound a bit naive, if you really want to behave constructively, bring along the absent person who is being gossiped about. “It is always best for a group if there is transparency and the flow of information reaches everyone involved.” That is why, according to the social psychologist, an open exchange with all involved is the most profitable tactic for a functioning group. But we can never stop gossiping completely. After all, it is in our genes. (aargauerzeitung.ch)