Loreen’s fingernails are singing on the ESC today. And our Remo Forrer forever!!!

whiner.

We’ve all been waiting for this.

fear.

No. Paleness. Idea.

No, really now: I don’t know what’s going on here. All I know is that this is another one of those Eurovision Song Contest-only shows. I love it

… sings about the most important human escapism next to love, sleep. The audience goes wild: sleeping is SO great!

The song of Serbia is based on a Phrygian scale.

cool right?

Well, my 14-year-old daughter assures me that grandfather sweaters are totally trendy. There is no other way to explain this train derailment from a performance.

… is EVEN better!

“If you’re interested / I’ve got some indoor shoes I can offer you / get you in the groove”

NOW NEVER

… my little brother, my neighbor’s boyfriend etc.

That’s a song line. No really now. Someone wrote that. NOW NEVER.

It opens with Alessandra from Norway. This is a mixture of Gregorian chants and “Game of Thrones” in a corset. Alas, terrible conquest fantasies of a wannabe queen with a scream set.

Or something like that drives a woman Norway.

I mean come on

A boy from Liverpool and a girl from Ukraine do mirror theatre. After all, Ukraine won the ESC last year, but of course the ESC cannot take place in Kiev this year. Then: fire! And Ukrainian rocker Julia Sanina. And Hannah Waddingham, known for “Sex Education” and “Ted Lasso”. And Alesha Dixon, known for… the pop scene. On the photo from the left: Bonbon Dixon, Julia Latex and Hannah de Rainbow.

… perfect French, she speaks, Mrs. Hannah Waddingham (yes, you know her from “Sex Education” and “Ted Lasso”, yes, yes.)

…

Looking good ma’am.

… half a million people all with a speech impediment. OH shut up, Oliver.

No, actually Scouse is quite beautiful.

So today and the day after tomorrow and on Saturday the ESC circus is at the M&S Bank Arena in Liverpool. Liverpool is the city where the Beatles come from. M&S Bank is the bank of Marks & Spencer. This is the supermarket chain where the sadly deceased Swiss actress Stefanie Glaser used to buy her underwear in multipacks. In the photo: The Beatles, of course.

… with which the best song of the evening would have ended …

Madeleine is there too.

And she’s like, “Fucking outfit, Remo.”

LOL

Okay, so Remo Forrer looks like a cross between Swiss ESC 2022 entrant Marius Bear and Swiss ESC 2021 entrant Gjon’s Tears. In the photo (from top to bottom): Remo, Marius, Gion.

Slightly off topic, I know, but hey: it’s nice that a high-ranking politician 1) supports independent record stores and 2) has excellent taste in music. Go Kamala!

Everybody Loves the Sunshine by Roy Ayers is one of my favorite albums of all time. I was thrilled to stop by HR Records and grab a copy.

Small business owners like Charvis are the heart and soul of our communities. pic.twitter.com/RFZ3675A5H

— Vice President Kamala Harris (@VP) May 5, 2023

Everyone interviewed by SRF, including Luca Hänni’s current girlfriend, thinks it’s crazy that Remo looks 12 (he’s 21!), but has a voice of at least 35.

…will that be ok?

So. We watched the SRF documentary on Remo Forrer for what feels like 5 hours. Uff. He’s just nice. And fun. And friendly. And sympa. And I’m sick.

Conchita Wurst says she has goosebumps from “Watergun”, it’s pure, pleasantly overwhelming, an unparalleled performance, European champion, just European champion. No, she says nothing about that. Except the goosebumps. Ah Conchita! You sublime of all ESC winners.

Remo Forrer. So today we are all called Remo. A little. Or rather not a little? A sports editor at our office asks, “Does he have a chance?” A typical question from a sports editor. A visitor who has just been snowed in says, “No.” Remo says “Music is life.” He has a brand new tattoo. It’s called “Watergun” like his song tonight. Will he ever regret the tattoo? Loreen’s favorite song is called “Tattoo”. Chance?

Yo! Welcome, welcome, bonsoir etc dear ones. Do any of you remember Ronan Keating aka one of the cream pies, as they called it back then, from the boy band Boyzone? He currently hosts The Countdown on BBC One. Here’s an old photo of Boyzone, Ronan is the yellow and black camisole.