“They can mislead us”

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Blick: Mr Bonelli, what are instinctive feelings?
Raphael Bonelli: The first emotional reflexes we have when we perceive something. Intestinal sensations do not arise in the anatomical abdomen. These are a metaphor for the limbic system. This is the name of the part of the brain that controls emotions or instinctive behavior. The gut feeling is more sensitive than the mind. All environmental influences are first perceived by him and then transferred to the mind.

What are the benefits?
In dealing with other people, instinctive emotions unconsciously recognize things that the mind does not perceive. When I take a new patient into my practice, I immediately notice their gaze or movements. This may intuitively remind me of another patient, and I can already sense what might be troubling for the current patient. This process happens instinctively, without my being aware of it. When dealing with other people, our stomach can be a warning signal and protect us from scammers, for example.

So can we trust our instincts?
No, we should listen to him but not follow him blindly. Because there is not just one, but several instinctive emotions that often contradict each other. Our instincts encourage us to approach an attractive person at the bar. They also increase the fear of rejection. This indecision is typical of instinctive emotions. They want to satisfy our lust immediately and ignore the negative consequences. This means that they can deceive and mislead us. Because decisions cannot be evaluated in an instinctively realistic way, as in the mind.

What if we always follow our instincts?
The human being, acting under the guidance of his instincts without thinking, moves like a walnut shell by being pushed back and forth in the sea. This will get you nowhere. Many people mistakenly think that if they always follow their instincts, they will be free. Rather, these people are at the mercy of their instincts.

How should we deal with this feeling?
We must learn to control it. When making a decision, the mind must ask itself: Does what the instincts say make sense? Is this true? Then we have to consider whether our instinctive feelings match our values. Only after examining these two sample emotions can we make an informed decision. If I act rationally and in line with my values ​​long enough, my instincts can internalize it. The more experienced a person is, the more reliable their instinctive feelings.

What role do instinctive feelings play in choosing a mate?
Falling in love is just an instinctive feeling. Initially, you are convinced that the other person is your true love. But after this first stage, our minds and values ​​come into play. Just as important as physical attraction is being able to relate spiritually and share the same values ​​and beliefs. Only then can a stable relationship develop.

Source : Blick