William finally wears a crown! As the “sexiest bald man in the world”. How is that possible???

Apparently there’s a lid for every pot and a title for every celebrity, even if it’s just Germany’s Next Potholder. Crown Prince William already has several titles, namely Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Chester, Earl of Carrick, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles, Prince and Grand Steward of Scotland. And a few more small ones.

None of them had ever had anything to do with sex. But now everything is different, thanks to ‘science’. William is now ‘World’s Sexiest Bald Man 2023’, i.e. the sexiest bald man in the world. Please? How is that possible?

The agency responsible for this, Reboot, doesn’t reveal how long the title has been around, whether it’s 550 or just 45 years – but it was probably only awarded for a second time because William “dethroned” Vin Diesel, they say.

The criteria are ironically scientific. Robust testing processes, probably developed at ETH or at CERN.

Not only the volume of the search term ‘William’ was taken into account. The assets (very sexy), the ‘golden ratio’, i.e. the ideal proportions of the head, the pitch of the voice, which should be as close as possible to the feel-good frequency of 96 Hertz, were also taken into account, and the “shine factor”, i.e. the appearance of the body with as evenly exposed part of the body as possible. Yes, the appearance.

And because he scores almost perfectly on all criteria, William gets 9.88 out of 10 points.

A year ago, William himself was only in fifth place. With a crappy or hairy 6.13 points. The first was Vin Diesel, the second was Stanley Tucci.

(SME)