Etiquette for the big day: As a wedding guest, you can do anything wrong.

Can I bring my new partner to the wedding? What will I do with the children? Datwyler says anyone with these questions should read the invitation text carefully. “If the bride and groom want to celebrate in a small circle and only one person is openly addressed, you should come alone.” Children—especially younger ones—often have a special dynamic that the married couple may not want, she adds. “If there is such uncertainty, guests should definitely discuss it with the bride and groom.”

If there’s a dress code, Dättwyler says, in most cases, the bride-to-be puts a lot of thought into it. “That’s why you should always follow him.” Maybe you don’t feel comfortable in holiday clothes. “However, experience has shown that underdressing often feels just as bad.” It’s important to keep in mind here once again: “It’s not about me as the guest, it’s about the bride and groom.”

“Celebrating enthusiastically is part of every wedding. Still, Datwyler says it’s not recommended to go completely overboard. “Even if there are free late night cocktails, it’s every guest’s responsibility not to overdo it.” First of all, it is important that the bridal couple does not have any problems after the celebration and that the guests do not incur more expenses due to damage to the belongings. “Even if you often meet friends at a wedding celebration years later, it’s not a house-share or student party.”

It is often undesirable for guests to take numerous photos and videos themselves. Datwyler says the cell phone should at least stay in your pocket during the wedding ceremony at the church or at the registry office. “Most of the time the bridal couple hired a photographer. This allows the bride, groom and their guests to enjoy the moment knowing someone else is taking great pictures.»

Datwyler says there’s little reason to cancel a wedding invitation if you get it months in advance. “Good reasons for cancellation are birth, death, or a long-planned vacation that cannot be postponed.” If you stay away from a wedding for no good reason, the bridal couple will probably get some sense of it. “He’s right, because he carefully considered who would want to be there.” In such cases, it is necessary to admit that a friendship is damaged or even broken. “Most of the time you really only know your friends at your own wedding.”