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Some readers responded to the discussion about Rammstein and Till Lindemann with a lack of understanding of the behavior of women in Row Zero. We confronted Agota Lavoyer, an expert on sexual assault, with the statements.
Sabine Kuster and Annika Bangerter / ch media

Many users comment: Those who are in Row Zero want to have sex with Till Lindemann.
Agota Lavoyer:
Some may have a sexual desire for Till Lindemann, others may not, and yet they stay there. But we’re talking about violence here, not sex! Behind this statement lies the assumption that women consciously accept the risk of being raped when things go badly. That’s a terrible attitude. (Editor’s note: Till Lindemann was not charged or convicted of rape.)

To person
Agota Lavoyer works as a counselor, supervisor and speaker in the field of domestic and sexual violence. She is also the author of a bestseller on preventing sexual violence against children and writes regular columns and guest articles.
She is also actively involved in social media, where she educates, raises awareness and breaks taboos about gender-based violence. Before starting her own business, she worked as a victim support consultant and head of a victim support center.

Why are you in row zero?
At least not because band members are expected to be sexually abusive. Behind statements such as “the risk is obvious” is the attitude: the men are simply driven by instinct, it is biological that they become aggressive. This is a misconception. In addition, everyone has the right to be careless, naive or stupid and not always see every risk coming. But no one has the right to cross sexual boundaries.

Does that also have to do with age, that you don’t see a risk?
With more life experience, you are likely to become more cautious in certain situations. Nevertheless: we all have the right to make mistakes, but not to do violence to anyone. Yet it is not up to women to prevent sexual violence. This is a complete shift in focus: instead of talking about the perpetrators, people are talking about the affected. It’s worse for someone to be supposedly naive than for someone to be sexually assaulted.

Such letters come almost exclusively from men. Also from younger people. Why do you feel provoked by such cases?
This does not apply to all men. But there are those who do not want to question themselves and their image of men. Doubting yourself is painful, not everyone is willing to relinquish their position of power. I, too, have never received as many hate comments as I have on my tweets about Rammstein.

Doesn’t it also have to do with the fact that these men can’t imagine what it’s like to be a woman, the one who is physically inferior and doesn’t constantly think about sex?
Only if you don’t question yourself. In the toxic image of men, men overcome women. But when do you speak of conquering? At war! And whoever has conquered something, owns it. It’s this toxic story that the woman is available and you can take what you want as long as she doesn’t say no. And these men often don’t even care about the ‘No’. They think the woman is theirs.

Readers wrote exactly this: “It may not be easy, but you can always say ‘no’.”
Someone who says something like that has no idea what power and abuse of power is. And how big the power difference is between a millionaire, a famous man of a certain age and a fan. Separating the wives, taking away mobile phones, administering alcohol and other substances were clearly intended to make it more difficult for women no to say. The responsibility always lies with the abuser. Otherwise, you do a perpetrator-victim reversal. The perpetrator decides: I ignore the boundaries of the other. The victim decides nothing.

Contact points for victims of sexual violence
Sexual assault can take place in a wide variety of contexts. Help with suspected or experienced sexual violence supply across the canton victim support agencies or the Sexual assault counseling for women. There is a function in Zurich for young people or adults who have been sexually exploited in their childhood Castagne. Affected men can go here Men’s office in Zurich turn around. If you are sexually attracted to children, or know someone who is sexually attracted, this feature can help.

Could it be that he didn’t see the boundaries?
On the one hand, men in our society have a lot of credit for them. They should be the better politicians or the better bosses – but when it comes to crossing boundaries, are they little guys and don’t know any better? This is a central part of rape culture.

In the course of ‘MeToo’, abuse of power and sexism were discussed extensively. How is it possible that a Lindemann goes on and no one from the industry, from the organizers or the band breaks the silence?
Because a majority of society downplays and tolerates sexual violence. “MeToo” has shown that we have a structural problem – not isolated cases. That needs to be taken care of, and I see little effort in this area. What is Switzerland doing to avoid softening gender stereotypes? What is being done to ensure that sexual violence is no longer trivialized and blamed on women?

What would it take?
A major campaign and appropriate information in schools and mandatory protection concepts for concert organizers, for example. Last year, the federal government earmarked two million Swiss francs for a national campaign against sexual violence. This can be used to hang some posters. Considering the size of the problem, this amount is disproportionate. After all: with great difficulty we reformed the sex criminal law.

Back to the music industry, what’s your advice to young fans when they’re invited backstage?
I have a lot of advice – but not for young women who behave correctly. Otherwise I would support rape culture. It states that male behavior is unchangeable and that women are therefore responsible for ensuring that they are not subjected to sexual violence.

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Soource :Watson

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