Think about the future, not the past

We humans need basic clarity and unambiguity for orientation and security. However, the complexity of our existence makes this fundamentally impossible. The very fact that every decision can be wrong often holds us back, especially when it comes to things as important as work and partnerships. Or about stopping them.

Breakups are always accompanied by doubts and regrets. We enter into a relationship with a certain person, not because we want to get rid of him as quickly as possible, but because we want a wonderful future together. This emotion of hope remains until the very last moment – and also turns into a nostalgic longing that torments you now. It’s natural to feel that way. You have finally lost something important.

But the question is: what exactly? You give good reasons for breaking up, so there were flaws in your relationship that you could no longer ignore. So your loss is not so much what was good, but what could be good, but only in your ideal. It’s who you’re mourning now, not your ex-partner. This is the key difference.

In fact, now you feel first of all what is important to you in a relationship, as well as your relevant and currently unmet needs. Try to look at all this not as flaws, but as qualities. It wasn’t taken from you – it’s a gift you have to give. Carry it with your thoughts not into your past, but into your future. There is a better place for this. Because of orientation and security.

Source: Blick