Unfortunately, the school subject “Constructive communication” does not exist. And our parents are not necessarily the best teachers. But we can still learn it anytime!
one
Usually we do little to understand our partner. Rather, our goal is to be understood. However, this means that we do not listen to each other, but become louder and louder. Therefore, our main desire should be to understand our double. If both of them do it in this way, it is practical that both are understood.
2
It is obvious that I-messages are perceived better than you-reproaches. However, there are problematic behaviors that need to be addressed openly. But to the maximum.
3
Let each other finish – because you want to understand each other. Resist the urge to interrupt your partner when she says something you don’t like.
4
Then repeat what you heard. We often ignore important messages and misinterpret others. Let your partner correct your performance. You want to understand them as accurately as possible!
five
Then tell her how what she said made you feel. So how do you feel when you hear these things. Does it make you angry? Sad? Name everything.
6
Now the roles are reversed: you speak, your partner listens, repeats what you said in your own words, and finally says what she thinks about it.
All of this may sound terribly tedious, and it is. But if we communicate not constructively and calmly, but impulsively and aggressively, then we should not be surprised at a bad mood.
Letting people finish, repeat, share emotions is the best recipe against disputes.