This is how you overcome your troubles

class=”sc-3778e872-0 cKDKQr”>

What is reasonably possible in everyday life is rarely possible in the office: avoid complainers, know-it-alls or pedantry. “The thing to do is to react intelligently to annoying people,” says American communications expert Rick Kirschner (73). A 4-step guide.

The first step is to match the annoying person while talking. If you do, you’re signaling him to take his side. “People are always looking for these kinds of signals,” Kirschner explains to Blick. If someone is very direct and gets to the point right away, then you should also communicate directly. If someone is enthusiastic and energetic, you should try to look more flashy. This has a sympathetic effect and makes dealing with annoying people more enjoyable because the person sees you as a friend rather than an enemy. “Because,” says Kirschner, “if I find someone annoying, they usually get mad at me too.”

By showing you’re listening to people, you win their hearts, Kirschner says. You do this by nodding in agreement, saying “aha” and “hmm” from time to time, and then repeating what the person has said. “So he understands that what is said is considered important.” The more likely the person will listen to you in return, the more likely they are. When dealing with complainers, the specialist strongly advises to ask. For example, “What do you mean, ‘Nothing works today’?” This way, a complainant’s opponent has a chance to find the essence of the problem and can try to find a solution.

“Most negative behaviors are based on positive intentions,” Kirschner says. A perfectionist may fear that something might go wrong. If someone is constantly seeking attention, it is an indication that the person does not feel noticed. According to Kirschner, most people pursue the following four goals:

• you want to be appreciated
• You want to get along with others
• You want to complete a task
• If you want to do the job right

When people are worried about not being able to achieve one or more of these goals, they feel stressed and tend to be loud, bossy, or controlling. “It’s easier to deal with annoying people when we see the intent behind their behavior,” says Kirschner.

According to Kirschner, when dealing with annoying people, it is very important to control your attitude towards them. If someone scolds you loudly and decisively, and you convince yourself that he or she is a terrible person, then the goal may just be to have to deal with a terrible person. “Instead, it’s much more constructive if you tell yourself that the person is direct because they want to finish a task as quickly as possible.”

Source : Blick