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For almost a decade he answered readers’ questions in Blick’s “Fux About Sex” column. Caroline Fux (42) has been advising couples and individuals on relationship, sexuality and life-related issues in her practice in Baar ZG since 2021. Psychologists, sexologists and couples therapists regularly use the solo congress method. In the recently published book “Ja Nein Jein,” Fux and his co-author Joseph Bendel, 77, explain how even as a layman you can make difficult decisions or solve dilemmas with their help. Simply put, it’s about becoming aware of inner voices and organizing them, including their arguments, with pen and paper.
Blick: Ms. Fux, in what situations do you face a dilemma?
Caroline Fux: Let’s say I’m in a difficult relationship with a person who isn’t good for me. I know I have to break up with him. Maybe the people around me will approve of me. The situation seems clear. But I’m still torn because something inside me says, “But I love this person.”
The famous duo angel and devil?
Definitely. Demons and angels are two of many possible representatives of the inner parts that psychologists call inner voices. We don’t want to hear the devil’s opinion and we try to silence him. This doesn’t work.
From where?
Because internal contradictions are a part of human beings. Someone can be a passionate feminist and still want a fairytale wedding. We live in an extremely complex world. At the same time, our brain and nervous system also long for simplicity due to evolution. We are addicted to clarity.
In the so-called solo congress, all inner voices have a say. An exhaustive version of the plus-minus list?
You can say so. Holding a conference alone may make you suddenly realize why you’re having such a hard time making a decision.
What’s the purpose?
The goal is to solve a dilemma. There was a man in therapy who wanted to leave his unfaithful partner but was unable to do so. A personal conference we held together made it clear why: He didn’t want to hurt her. The client realizes that this fear cannot be a reason to stay with someone who is unfaithful.
What is the popular psychological concept of the inner critic?
The inner critic is a typical shadow figure. He or she may say things like, “You’re not good enough,” “That was bad,” and constantly criticize and belittle you. We listen carefully to what he has to say in a one-person conference. But not only was he allowed to speak, he was given the floor. That’s why I use the convention image. It’s structured and we run it, so we’re the boss.
What can I discover by listening to my inner critic?
For example, he is a copy of my mother or father in my childhood. I might also ask myself if I have benefited at all from my inner critic. When I constantly put myself down, I live with the attitude that nothing can be expected from me. So I don’t actually have to deliver anything.
You often use the word executive chairman, CEO, or director. Well, aren’t you aiming for flat hierarchies in solo convention for once?
No way. As the organizer of the congress, you are responsible. It’s about not letting yourself be guided by parts of you subconsciously. This means that after the convention, I can let my inner princess, or whoever, guide me through a solution to a dilemma. But it must be a conscious decision!
Source : Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
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