Instead of awkward silence: This is how to handle compliments with confidence

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You might think that almost everyone likes to receive compliments. But for people who do not know how to deal with it, such a situation quickly becomes unpleasant. Sandra Lutz (47), certified life coach, mentor and lecturer at the University of Basel, knows why this might be: “Humility is part of our culture. “We grew up with this, so it’s no surprise that many people react with a question mark when they receive a compliment.”

Lutz explains how compliments affect interpersonal relationships and how you can learn to handle them better.

Because of the insecurity that arises after receiving a compliment, many people begin to avoid responsibility for it. “You’re wearing a nice blouse!” A typical response to his compliment. For example: “It was from H&M and it was very cheap.” The person receiving the compliment wants to draw attention away from himself and onto something else.

“Not wanting to be the center of attention often has to do with low self-esteem,” says the expert. So the next time you get a compliment, her advice is: “Just say thank you!”

But Lutz realizes this is easier said than done. For those who often respond to compliments with a question mark, the life coach advises: “Consciously think about what you did or didn’t do to receive that compliment.” This simple technique can help you remind yourself why you deserve a compliment.

Compliments are more important than you think: “They have a positive impact on the emotional state of both the person receiving the compliment and the person giving the compliment,” says Lutz.

Additionally, giving compliments strengthens the trust and relationship between the two parties.

According to the expert, this only works if you accept the compliment. If the opposite is the case, it’s almost disrespectful to the person who complimented you. “The person who complimented us probably had to deal with that, too,” Lutz explains. Because both giving and receiving compliments are outside our comfort zone.”

This is why some people have trouble giving compliments. “One common reason you’re not that good at giving compliments: you assume the other person already knows how you feel about them. But that’s usually not the case.” According to a life coach, a compliment given has a much bigger impact than you think.

But kind words are not just kind words. What’s the point of a good compliment anyway? According to Lutz, in order for compliments to be valuable and to be understood correctly, compliments should be made as clearly as possible. Just “You look good today!” do not say. Think about a particular characteristic of the person you particularly liked that day.

But of even greater value, according to Lutz, are compliments that do not refer to external characteristics but, for example, to something the other person has accomplished. “Especially in the business world, compliments about the performance of employees are an important motivational tool.” Even compliments from your boss have a similar effect to a bonus, according to one study.

Another important point to consider, especially with valuable compliments, is frequency. “The more compliments someone gives, the less valuable they become,” says the expert. So here it goes: less is more.

Source : Blick