No more sex? These tips will help: Why lack of libido is an opportunity for your relationship.

According to Henchen, it doesn’t matter how often couples have sex. More importantly, what kind of attitude and thoughts do they have on this issue? “If couples have very little sex but maintain an intimate, emotional relationship, that’s not a bad thing.” After all, sexuality and sex are not the same thing, and penetration does not always have to be the focus. However, less sex is perceived as a problem in many relationships and is associated with a lack of desire. Because: “Many people base their sexual lives on social norms. And if they fail to do so, they will be ashamed.”

Know what triggers sexual desire

That’s why Henchen wants to dispel the stereotype that “We don’t have enough sex as a couple.” She advises couples who have difficulty with sexual desire to communicate openly with each other. “The goal should be for both you and the other person to know when they want to have sex and why.” And it’s not that they force their desires. “Agreeing on a sex date is often not enough. This will work once or twice for basic problems. But this will not eliminate complacency.”

Henchen emphasizes that if you are having problems with sexual desire, you need to determine the cause of the problem. In her book, she describes ways for couples to overcome desire conflicts and fully develop their erotic potential.

Recognizing internal conflicts and desire motives

Henchen says anyone with internal conflicts will have their expectations about sex clouded. “And without expectation there is almost no desire or sex.” In terms of problem analysis, both parties in a relationship must ask themselves: What stands in the way of my desire? “Once this is clear, you can tell the other person and remove any barriers to pleasurable sex.”

According to Henchen, it’s equally important to ask yourself what motivates you to have sex. “The more you know about your own anatomy and how your genitals work, the easier your job will be,” says the expert. If you know what, where and how excites you, you can more clearly say which sex suits you best and what triggers the desire for sex.

The expert believes that sex rarely happens spontaneously, especially in long-term relationships. It often takes a long time for both partners to feel the desire to have sex. “The good thing is that you can exercise your desire for sex. “As long as you are clear about your own needs, it is never too late,” he says. In the best-case scenario, this will lead to the relationship developing to its full potential. “Luck can be an opportunity.”