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Second honeymoon: The kids leave: It’s like “Oh my God!” oh oh!”

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Finally, time for uninterrupted togetherness again: After the children move out, couples have the opportunity to reinvent themselves.
Valentine’s Day RubinEditor Service

What is Empty Nest Syndrome?

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Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello, 70, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Bern, says children leaving home is an emotional moment for many parents. “This is a transition to a new phase of life. This can be difficult and painful.” The active role as mother or father is no longer valid, the child’s room is empty and suddenly only two people are sitting at the dinner table. Hence the so-called “empty nest syndrome” in psychology. For parents, this situation is usually saddened by the departure of their child Perrig-Chiello: “No matter how you feel, the departure of children is an opportunity for parents to reorient themselves and ask themselves: How can I reimagine my life now?”

Experts say many parents feel a mixture of pride and sadness when their children leave home.

What does separation of children mean for parents?

Perrig-Chiello says underlying thoughts about your previous life inevitably lead to questions about the relationship. “Perhaps the parents were separated from each other without realizing it.” Raising children takes a lot of time and energy, so your own needs are put aside for years. In this situation, many couples no longer know what they really want or what makes them happy, other than their children. “Once the kids move out, parents have the time and opportunity to focus more on each other and spend time together again.” According to the expert, this situation can happen in different ways: “Some people remodel their apartments or houses. “Some of them go on long trips together or find new hobbies.”

What impact does the separation of children have on intimacy?

“Once the kids move out, parents can find their way back to old intimacy.” After a long time, you have the opportunity to rediscover yourself as a couple. The expert describes this phenomenon as a “post-launch honeymoon,” a honeymoon that is initiated or renewed at a later time. According to Perrig-Chiello, you don’t necessarily need to celebrate with a trip. “It’s more about getting closer as a couple again.”

Making an effort to maintain your relationship with your partner before your children move away may pay off later.

How do parents prevent a crisis?

To enjoy such a “post-launch honeymoon,” Perrig-Chiello says you need to prepare for it before the kids move in. Otherwise, parents may face problems once there are just two of them: “Maybe they’ve drifted apart and realized they don’t have anything to say to each other anymore after the kids move out,” says Perrig-Chiello. . Anyone who considered raising their children as their sole purpose in life before moving was at risk of going into crisis when they could no longer carry out this task. According to Perrig-Chiello, it helps to set aside regular time for couples early on. For example, in the form of restaurant visits or child-free wellness holidays. “It’s important to remember how to be a couple during intensive parental leave.”

Source : Blick

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