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“Masturbation is just as important to relationships as couple sex.” This is what couple and sex therapist Julia Henchen (34) from Germany says. He’s the author of “Lustfaktor” and, preferring to call it masturbation, advocates putting solo sex in a better light. Because it’s clear to him: “Sex alone is very often seen as cheating in a relationship. It has nothing to do with cheating. On the contrary, sex alone can be a relief for any relationship.”
What Henchen means by this: “It’s unlikely that both will always want to have sex at the same time, especially in long-term relationships.” In such situations, solo sex is a good way to avoid tension in the relationship and bridge the time until both want to have sex again. “Pushing on your partner can backfire. It just creates frustration and stress.”
Henchen says that couple sex is crucial to mutual intimacy. However, many feel that the other person is responsible for meeting the other person’s needs. “But that’s not true. We are responsible for it ourselves.”
According to Henchen, masturbation has another positive effect besides relaxing the partner: “We feel ourselves and better understand which touch triggers which emotions. This is usually when we first realize what we really need.”
In addition, masturbation allows us to fulfill our fantasies without the need for a substitute. Consciously perceiving the body and exploring fantasies can make couple sex better. “The better we ourselves know what we want, the more clearly we can communicate it to our partner.”
Masturbation only creates problems when it interferes with daily life. “If you can’t do without it anymore, if you can’t leave the house without satisfying yourself first, you should seek advice,” says Henchen. “But to think of only sex as a sign of deeper problems in a relationship is often an exaggeration.”
“We talk very little about having sex alone in relationships,” Henchen says. According to her, this makes you feel embarrassed because you don’t want to admit that double sex isn’t enough for you. Or we fear we’re not good enough, or we feel betrayed when we find out our partner is having sex alone. “Especially if he’s masturbating with porn.”
In most cases, these feelings are not rational, Henchen says. That’s why it’s not a good idea to hide masturbation from your partner. “It’s important to share your own needs and preferences with the other person and to talk openly about sexuality.”
Source : Blick
I am Dawid Malan, a news reporter for 24 Instant News. I specialize in celebrity and entertainment news, writing stories that capture the attention of readers from all walks of life. My work has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications and I am passionate about delivering quality content to my readers.
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