Please note, these reports are just April Fools jokes!

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In Switzerland, the media traditionally fooled their readers with false reports on April 1. Below are some topics that may be true but are likely to be considered April Fools jokes. By the way: in Blick you will not find any April jokes of your own.

UBS wants to polish its image and show its connection to the Swiss people. She designed her own cap in the style of the cult hat from Credit Suisse, formerly Schweizer Kreditanstalt SKA. The wool hat is called “We Are KMU” and was designed by the Zurich designer Julian Zigerli, as the “Tages-Anzeiger” wrote. The cap should radiate something forgiving, which is why three smiling faces have been incorporated into the UBS logo. The first copies of the collection of 500,000 pieces will be handed out on Saturday in front of the UBS main building on Paradeplatz.

Due to the lack of snow in winter, 300,000 tons of de-icing salt in the canton of Graubünden will soon reach their expiration date. This presented the civil engineering office in Graubünden with problems that required creative solutions, as the “Südostschweiz” wrote. Without further ado, the authorities entered into cooperation with the producers of Bündnerfleisch. According to the civil engineering office, three billion kilograms of Bündnerfleisch can be cured from the excess salt. Meanwhile, various saltworks store the perishable road salt. They were not happy about that. There is a great danger that the perishable particles will be transferred to the remaining salt.

The Winterthur Gutschick-Quartier has been declared a World Heritage Site by the cultural UN organization Unesco. The award protects the district, previously described as soulless and monotonous, forever, as the “Landbote” wrote. The Gutschick houses are arranged as in ancient Greece at the time of the Neolithic Revolution. Unesco also recognized a further development by the Swiss architect Le Corbusier in the individual buildings. This goes hand in hand with maximum quality of living despite cheap components. A “World Heritage Café” is now being built in the district.

Travelers can now hire a local for CHF 25 per hour when visiting Basel. “Basel Tourismus” announces its new program “Rent a Buddy”. Such a companion can be useful, for example, for a souvenir photo. If desired, a family or a dog can also be rented.

In the cantons of Fribourg and Vaud, the ecological revolution has found its way to the church. In the future, not only the outside areas will be greened, but also the inside of the church, as “La Liberté” wrote. The diocese of Lausanne, Geneva and Friborg recommended converting the confessionals into permaculture spaces. “It is time for parishes to take inspiration from urban gardening and make these spaces available to the faithful, who can come and grow organic plants while fraternizing in a non-judgmental attitude,” the statement said.

Geneva controls the control of pedestrians and cyclists with facial recognition radar. Geneva authorities want to act against people who ignore the red light, as “La Tribune de Genève” wrote. “There’s no reason why the rules should only apply to motorized vehicles,” said Walter Witz, head of the Zug company behind the system. The radar registers traffic offenders with a camera and identifies them through social networks. Their faces are added to a database available to authorities. Geneva authorities have not commented on the new project.

In the future, owners of electric cars will be able to charge their car via the bus line in Biel. How it works? A box is installed on the roof of the car, as “La Tribune de Geneve” wrote. A metal arm attached to it finally connects the car to the cable system of the Biel bus network.

Source: Blick