When the child should not be called like the mothers

There was no party, no guests, no fanfare. Nevertheless, Marlise and Anouk Hofmann always remember their anniversary. They got married on July 1, 2022, the day that “marriage for all” came into effect.

The women have been together for eleven years and have had a registered partnership for six years. Despite this, they did not have the same rights as heterosexual couples. The wedding should change that. “We had hoped for fewer forms, clarifications, special rules.” The timing was perfect: at the wedding Anouk five months pregnant.

Olivia was born in November. And with the child came the bureaucracy.

Last name is not applicable

A few days after the birth, the mothers received a letter. Subject: birth announcement. Sender: registry office Oberaargau. The content: surprising. «The surname you requested cannot be authenticated. Under Swiss law, the child bears the unmarried name of the mother,” the letter said. So Olivia’s last name should be different from her mother’s.

Marisa laughed Anouk cried. ‘Absurd,’ they both thought. To avoid just that, they had chosen a common surname at the wedding. There was nothing that could be done, the agency said. So be just now the law.

The Hofmanns were not satisfied with that. what law? Does it only affect same sex couples? Or is it an error? Too many unanswered questions – even a look at the Civil Code did not help: “If the parents have a common surname, the child will have this name,” it says. Why not yours?

Hard to understand

A request brings clarity Federal Justice and Police. “No mistake was made,” says Information Manager Ingrid Ryser. “The common surname is only valid insofar as it is the common children.” Otherwise, a baby will be given the unmarried name of the biological mother. “In individual cases, this leads to results that are not always easy to understand for those affected.” However, the registry office had no leeway.

So the problem is: Marlise is not a mother, at least not officially. Because a wife only becomes a second parent if a child has been conceived in accordance with the legal requirements. In the case of the Hofmanns, that means: via an official seed bank.

“First Comes Olivia”

Access to this was only made possible for same-sex couples with “Marriage for All”. The law strictly regulates who can be a sperm donor. Every donation is checked and documented.

The idea behind it: as soon as a child turns 18, the donor’s details are released. “It’s too late,” the Hofmanns thought. So they chose a private donor, a man from their circle of colleagues. “He will be a part of Olivia’s life from the beginning,” say Marlise. She was aware of the consequence that she would later have to adopt her child. “It was worth it to us. First up is Olivia.”

Despite all the preparation and research, she was surprised by the naming convention. It is difficult for lay people to obtain the information that applies to a same-sex relationship. In the case of a man and a woman, the rules are clearer: a baby is given the mother’s unmarried name if the couple is unmarried or cannot agree on a surname.

cost over cost

The good news: It’s only a matter of time before Olivia gets her mother’s last name. This happens automatically with a stepchild adoption. The bad news: the process is long and time consuming. A couple can only submit the application one year after the birth. In uncomplicated cases, it may take several months before approval is granted. In May 2022, the Federal Council voted in favor of simplifying this path, but it is unclear when a corresponding regulation will come into force.

Moreover, the procedure costs – again. “We had to pay to convert the registered partnership into a marriage. And now the adoption of a stepchild costs 400 to 800 francs.” “For Olivia, we take it all on us,” say the Hofmanns. But a stale aftertaste remains: the equality promised by “marriage for all” is but still not quite there.

Source:Blick