More time than money

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The baby in the stroller looks at me with big saucer eyes. It’s damn cute. This kid. A nauseating feeling spreads through me. I have been warned. Whenever I delivered a rambling tirade about all the downsides of having children (“I don’t want to give anyone away to this world!”), they predicted a pulsating womb whenever I saw miniature hands and baby overalls.

I would not yet feel ready for the task. And? I can’t even fill out my tax return without my mom. And without a sense of adulthood, somehow you don’t want to squeeze a child out of yourself. Nevertheless, the painful thought seems closer than ever to me. In the end, baby bumps appear around me. Although I never really know how to react – was it intended or a mistake? But expectant mothers always look happy.

At the sight of these round and shining people, I begin to dream. A cozy house, two children play peacefully in the garden, and my husband massages my legs on the sofa. I’ll never, ever have to go to work again because I…wait a minute!

Did I want to be a housewife? No more paid work to do. Can you write it out loud? This is probably the greatest disrespect to all the women’s rights activists who have been fighting for our emancipation for years!

But I’m not entirely alone with these thoughts. It’s not uncommon for me to exchange ideas with friends (yes, men dream of being a house dad too) bashfully about their fantasies of staying at home. It’s never about digging up outdated gender norms or negative portrayals of working mothers.

Rather, behind the dreams lies an aversion to everyday working life in the age of late capitalism. We no longer want to fuel this system with poorly paid jobs. All doors are open to us, but none of the options is really satisfactory – everything seems meaningless. Spending the whole day in a gray office tinkering with a hamster wheel, only to trudge home unhappy in the evening and spend the last free hours of the day with a beer in front of a drawer. Not with us.

These are mind games and romanticization. We all know about it. What’s interesting is that the “to the top of the ladder” mentality is waning in my generation. What suits us is that we have little money and even less time for it. I understand that older people perceive this as laziness or spoiledness – that’s how hard they worked to give us a better life. But my generation must decide to whom it is accountable: past or future babies in all these swollen bumps.

Noah Dibbasey (21) studies social sciences at the University of Bern. She writes to Bleek every second Friday.

Source: Blick