Psychology manuals have one thing in common: they work with positive case studies. Claudia always gets mad when her boyfriend leaves his socks. She doesn’t feel like she sees him. Like when she was a child, when her mother never had time for her. Once Claudia finds out about this, she can say, “Wait, I won’t do it again.”
This is the sound of books like those written by the successful writer Stephanie Stahl. And this is only half the truth. This, too, is characteristic of a successful psychology manual: it promises simple solutions. Assuming that the behavior of people, who will soon be eight billion, can be broken down into several patterns – the idea: if you know them, you know people. Uplifting feeling.
But anyone who has ever been in psychotherapy and has seen the curiosity and patience with which the therapist explores the nature of the client, even after decades of his own practice, knows that each person is unique. Sometimes it behaves like a textbook, but very often not at all as expected. Man, his psyche – they are complex. And healing is a long process. With a lot of work. Lots of failures. And get up a lot. And eventually something will fall off. Or not – and you learn to accept it. This can be done not by an adviser, but by a professional who reflects you.