Oh, how contemplative it was again, Christmas time. Exquisite food and gifts, cozy candlelight gatherings, the whole family hugging each other. The dog was sleeping at the foot of the sofa and was scratched by his cousin. The mother took the roast to a warm room, and the grandparents watched their offspring with delight. And everyone had a huge smile on their faces. Scenes as advertised.
Well, it wasn’t that easy. Do not misunderstand me. I love my family. My holidays were wonderful and the food was very tasty. But Christmas is one of the few days of the year when so many different generations sit around the same table and speak their minds. The rest of the year we spend in our bubbles, with like-minded people and peers.
“S’Feshtli is pleasant and cheerful, but there is always a lot of discussion,” my friends say. Landmines were again this year: LGBTQ, climate activism, wars and their aftermath.
When different realities collide, extreme caution is required. You want to be more tolerant of each other. At the same time, I want to impose my opinion on others – because it is correct! You really shouldn’t be loud. But some family members are very good at throwing provocative questions.
Others are secretive. Place the fully problematic statement in a subordinate clause. Then you have to weigh. Was it a taunt or just a failed spell? Do I react to this and risk another half hour with a crooked blessing at home at the banquet table? Or will I let it go and swallow my pride?
And so you work your way through the conversations as the raclette hisses before you. Try to keep your cool even when the cousins are tearing at each other in the background. Weighs every word and sips too much wine.
You want it to be good. You have to balance between a beautiful, untouched Christmas world and a heavy and gloomy real world. And while it can be very tiring, I still need to remind myself of the most important feeling of the holiday season: gratitude.
Because I have a family to talk to. This allows me to exchange ideas with older students. Can listen to the stories that are told at every family gathering and always get a laugh. I feel comfortable, accepted and loved by my family. And not everyone is so lucky.
Noah Dibbasey (21) studies social sciences at the University of Bern. She writes to Bleek every second Friday.