“Now we are open!” No, I don’t trade every morning in front of my favorite cafe and wait for the barista to open the heavy wooden door. I also don’t often talk to former introverts who suddenly become party people. However, I’ve heard that phrase over the past year as often as I’ve heard the new Ed Sheeran album.
My environment speaks of relationships. Open relationships are in vogue now. Everyone wants one. “Just try, obscure.” Some try their hand at polyamory – different partners who are loved in different ways. Others choose classic open relationships – one partner, various sexual contacts.
Typical generation Z. After stricter climate regulations, she now also wants to regulate fraud. The fall of the good old village gossip. After all, two-thirds of it is adultery!
Independent experiments on several tracks
No wonder we begin to question monogamy. Isn’t it okay to wish for more than one person in your life? How do I want to limit the needs of the person I love? Is sex really the link in a partnership? Is it still romantic? Or is open relationships just another symptom of our disgusting consumer society?
This relationship box opens up questions that can only be answered by self-experimentation. “Now we are open,” they say, and try their hand at multi-track driving. Experience an emotional rollercoaster ride. Discuss this with your partner. Often. “It almost borders on a 40 percent workload.” And then: “As of today, it’s closed again!” Not for everyone, but for many. Most return to the status quo after trying.
Speak, speak, speak
I don’t feel happy about it. Although this back and forth means that my ear is regularly chewed off by all sorts of friends. Because it doesn’t matter if you can deal with a threesome, with Wegley, or both – you’ve been forced to practice communication in a relationship. About different needs, envy and greed.
I see a huge difference from the generation “silent at the kitchen table and sweeping any problems under the carpet.” Because we are, if not in an open relationship, then at least in an open conversation.
Noah Dibbasey (21) studies social sciences at the University of Bern. She writes to Bleek every second Friday.