Self-doubt after separation: “Do better next time”

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Well, I hope you doubt yourself! If someone manages to start a new relationship, but at the same time you feel “always there” with him, you have to talk about outright self-deception.

Of course, there are rascals who are frighteningly adept at pretending that everything is going wrong while chasing new pleasures behind their backs. But even they can only do this if you let them. I mean, if you let them never answer questions.

Truly close and intimate relationships are based on open and honest communication about needs, fears, boundaries, and feelings. Where are you now Where are we now? What you need? What I need? These are questions that should be discussed not only at high waves, but also regularly. As a preventive measure.

Unfortunately, most do not succeed. They don’t talk about their needs, they just make sure that they are somehow met, bringing in additional staff if necessary. Anger and fear are also maximally veiled and eventually burst out in the form of irrational accusations. It has nothing to do with partnership. It’s just what it’s called.

If you had the courage and discipline to have tedious but honest conversations with your ex about your relationship, you would both quickly notice that something was wrong and either work on a long-term solution or, if that wasn’t possible, say goodbye to each other. This is the lesson you can take from here. Do better next time. And right from the start. On the first date, ask: what do you do when there are difficulties between us? And only participate if you get an adult’s response.

Source: Blick