Separation anxiety – Meyer’s advice: don’t listen to your fears

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It is not right. Breaking up is easy. You tell your partner the following phrase: “Our relationship
no longer suitable for me, so I stop it.” It takes five seconds – you’ve already broken up!

Quitting smoking is just as easy: throw your cigarettes in the trash. But even here it is not the end that is difficult, but what follows it: in all the moments when you were reaching for a cigarette, standing empty-handed is a radical change.

Separation also means loss of support. One can understand everyone who is so afraid of this that they prefer not to be afraid. Therefore, your proposal should be: “I want to leave, but I’m too afraid of the consequences.” Write down all the possible consequences of a breakup that come to mind, as well as the percentage you think it could be.

You will see that these are mostly fears, such as that you will never find a partner again. However, the fears are not real, they are just fears. And they are usually very busy.

This leads us to ask why you believe so strongly in what you believe. The answer lies in your worldview and self-image: if you view breakups as catastrophic failures, you will avoid them, and if you consider yourself boring and unattractive, the idea that everyone else sees it too seems quite reasonable.

The one who wants to leave, but does not do this, rarely has good reasons, but only listens to his fears. And they are always bad advisers. In any case, at the end of your life, you certainly won’t thank yourself for following them.

Source: Blick